Wednesday, February 08, 2006
*.* wat kinda rubbish? please dun make me hate u all my life *.*
well.. school.. i realli am hating school real badly:( and going home doesn't help much either.. :( sian.. school has always been the same.. n i'm always lethargic during lessons.. sigh.. SIAN!! yea.. that's school life for me.. got alot of catching up to do especially for chemistry.. :( sigh.. n my chem teacher isn;t making things better by making me quite irritated with her.. sigh.. well school.. bascially.. not a place i wana stay for long.. :( yeah.. sigh.. i dunno.. n pple always sae they yearn for school to end.. n they can't wait to get home.. bcos their home is so filled with love n care n warmth.. but me? not the case ba.. :( well my mum got a new job.. she's working for other pple now.. n i noe it's a tiring job.. cos she has to massage pple n stuff.. she comes home tired.. n she starts to scold n nag.. she brings up mistakes i made in the past.. forever complains that i am lazy.. not helping with housework.. well.. i realli dunno wat i can sae.. in the first place.. i dun realli have much time n energy either ya? she always complains that she has to do all the housework.. then wat is my sister for? when i was her age, i had to bring in the clean laundry, fold them, iron them.. soak the clothes for my mum to wash.. clean my own room.. sometimes help to clean the house.. haven heard a thank you at all.. n whenever i forget to do anithing mentioned above.. i even get caned at sec1! n now? my sister? i help her to bring in the laundry.. she leaves it there.. can wait till the next to two days b4 she folds.. my mum? she says NOTHING! wat rubbish is this? i can go on rattling bout a whole thing bout fairness.. i'm too lazy n tired to.. well.. n yesterday.. was being nice.. cos my aunt gave us some dessert.. then i wanted to warm it for my mum.. so i saw this glass pot.. so i poured everything into the pot.. put it over the fire.. picked up the broom n dustpan n went to sweep my mum's room.. but.. while sweeping, i heard the shattering of glass.. shoots.. i ran behind.. then i saw the whole pot of dessert.. erm.. the pot like broke? sigh.. then had to clear up the stove n stuff.. sian.. ya.. then went back to sweep the whole house lo.. ya.. mum was home.. as usual.. she started her naggings n scoldings.. arrowing me n my dad most of the time.. oh well.. it sometimes makes me wonder if i'm her daughter.. well.. mayb.. i'm becoming more like a maid ya? well.. nothing to sae la.. aniwae.. she was home.. wanted to tell her that i broke the pot.. but she taht kinda mood.. i scared the whole house will collapse.. sian.. so i jus kept quiet.. let her scold.. then slept early.. yeah.. well.. sometimes.. it just makes me wonder.. wat am i doing in this family? please.. dun make me hate u.. dun make me hate this family.. please.. yes.. pple tell me that i have a purpose for being here.. i accept that.. but.. i realli cannot tolerate all these?! why? why me? i dunno.. n today.. mrs chua was just talking bout supportive families.. well come to think.. my family was never realli supportive of wat i do.. just taking for example.. which school i wana go.. my mum was nv happy with my choice.. but for me.. i'm always strong with my choices.. once i decide that i wana do this, i will make sure i get it done.. n so.. i dun end like some other pple who go to schools of their parents choice.. n up till now.. my mum still brings up the point that i nv listened to her on the choice of my schools that's why i end up like that.. if she tinks so then so b it ba.. i have totalli no energy to retaliate.. no energy left.. well.. was telling ron wat happen.. n tears jus wekked up in my eyes.. wat can i do to improve this situation? no idea watsoever.. i realli am very tired of this life.. stressful jc life.. trying to maintain good relationship with others.. always looking happy if not pple tink i'm always pulling a long face n get pissed with me.. tired.. sweedy's totally drained.. soon, she'll b like a salted fish.. well... life.. God? that's my life? alright..
I needed Jesus @ | 10:36:00 PM
