sigh.. look at me.. wat do u see? i dunno.. i feel restricted.. i dun have my freedom.. i dun have the right to choose wat i want.. i dun have the right to choose who i realli wan to hang out with.. all these.. i do without her consent still.. going to church.. she says even if i want to go.. it's not that she has accepted.. but she just can't be bothered about me animore.. she says.. go ahead.. i've lost a daughter that's been a pain to me.. wow.. how strong are these words.. fine.. i keep them to myself.. i tell anione else.. not many pple can understand aniwae.. i've been told.. she doesn't mean it.. well let me tell u.. she does.. cos she realli can't be bothered animore.. and.. she's cold.. nvm.. no point explaining..


i wished i could go for overnight prayer meeting.. she tells me.. go ahead.. and dun bother about coming home.. well.. it doesn't leave me with a choice u noe.. obviously i have to stay home.. not that i'm afraid that i can't come home.. i've got to give her the respect.. if not.. the whole world will come at me.. well..


i tell her i'm going out.. she isn't happy.. she expects me to stay home to look after my siblings all the time.. i tell her i'm coming home late.. she's not happy either.. oh well.. wat do u expect me to do? argh.. i dunno.. u wan me to stay at home all day? and become a couch potato or something?


i use the computer every night.. she ain't happy.. but when she needs my help with the com.. she says in a nice way.. well.. and then it's my turn to get irritated because she doesn't plan properly wat exactly she wans me to do.. she tells me to type this in and the next moment she wants it changed.. u noe how irritating this can get! then again.. you might not noe..


she says i've been spending too much.. well.. this i dun deny.. but at least i'm trying to get a job now.. and i NEVER ever asked for extra money.. i just take wat u give.. even if u dun give.. i dun ask for it.. and yet u are still unhappy.. well..


u nv asked me.. "how was school today? wat did u learn?".. u nv asked me how i felt.. u always try to force ur way through.. to make me do things ur way.. and when i dun.. u make a whole big fuss about it.. i look at the other kids.. they hold their mummy's hands like they hold their friend's.. i nv got to do that.. i nv dared to.. the others talk to thier mummy like they talk to their friends.. i nv dared.. i'm scared u'll scold me for being rude.. many things.. i nv dared to ask you.. because i noe u wouldn't allow me to.. wat has got into this relationship? i tink.. we're as good as strangers living in the same roof.. u dunno wat i like.. wat i dun.. i dunno about u either..


wat a life.. all i ask of u now.. please.. give me my freedom.. my freedom to hang around with who i want.. to believe in wat i want to.. and not to be conformed to the set of rules u've set.. i'm already a big girl.. and i can make my own decisions.. even if they are wrong decisions.. i'll learn to accept and learn from my mistakes.. please.. give me some space..