well how much time have i left.. 4 days.. not much time i would say.. oh well.. i'll just do wat i can.. realli tired le.. very very tired.. i've never felt so drained before.. never in my life.. well.. i dunno.. i guess.. can't blame anione la.. it's my fault.. it's all my fault.. sigh.. well yeah.. my fault cos i give in to temptation easily.. i'm a weakling.. i'm lousy.. i.. i.. i dunno.. i hate myself for everything.. things seem to b so out of place.. it's all my fault ok.. my fault..
argh.. this sounds so depressing.. but i guess.. that's wat i'm feeling now.. being ever so emotional.. i guess this is not something surprising la.. i let my feelings rule my head.. i have very little control over my emotions.. well.. i noe i should learn to.. yeah.. i'm learning.. but i'm a slow learner.. pardon me..
today.. started off pretty badly.. sigh.. i dunno wat to say.. i noe i haven been helping out much at home.. well.. take it that i'm lazy la.. i dunno.. but well.. this morning.. woke up at bout 11. just when geck called n asked if i was gonna join them to study at macs.. yeah.. n so.. i got up and washed up.. my mum went out for a while.. i had breakfast then started to study a little first.. mummy came home.. then she wasn't happy that i keep asking to go out to study.. sigh.. i guess she wouldn't understand the meaning of can't study at home cos there's so much distractions thing.. there's my bed.. the com.. the telephone..
well.. she say until like then.. then i din dare to leave the house.. so i continued to sit at my study desk.. then she was like scolding my brother and stuff.. n the noise was unbearable.. i guess.. it showed through my actions and facial expressions.. well.. then she said "u not happy u go outside n study la".. she was babbling on n on.. well.. that was it.. i packed my stuff.. walked out of the house.. with tears in my eyes.. well.. i dunno why.. but.. yeah.. so i joined them at macs lo.. n i realised i forgot to bring my jacket.. well.. so i was freezing quite bad in the air con..
yeah.. then halfway through studying.. some customer complained that there isn't enough space in macs cos there was alot of ppl studying in macs.. yeah.. so we packed up.. then we wanted to eat.. so we da bao lo.. haha.. yeah.. then we were playing with the membership machine thinggy.. hahaha.. so funny la.. tsk.. lols.. yeah.. aniwae.. after we da bao.. we went outside.. then outside got seat.. so we sat outside in the end.. (: it wasn't as warm as we expected.. hahaha...
yeah.. studied till bout 10.. geck n yiling left first at bout 830.. yeah.. so tired.. yeah.. feeling so drained.. yeah.. so.. i guess.. i dun have much of an energy to continue studying now.. haha.. mayb i'll do some maths later.. haha.. yeah.. did bout 4 parts of differentiation today.. and two chpts of organic chem.. yeah.. pretty productive i would say.. yeap..
watever it is.. i'm hoping i can study out everyday.. but it's impossible.. i can't.. sigh.. i dunno wat i can do then.. sigh.. just try to stay out of temptation lo.. yeah.. God.. forgive me.. i'm sorry.. i'm a sinner..
