hmm.. today.. had a little talk with ellie at the end of the day.. and we realised how fragile life is.. firstly.. life.. created by God.. it just comes as planned.. we can't have a say of whether this sperm shall meet with this egg and the zygote shall develop and form the embryo and to be implanted.. (all my bio knowledge!) wahaha(: but aniwae.. wat i'm trying to say is.. life can so easily be created.. at the same time.. life can so easily be gone.. how fragile.. (pardon my language.. i'm lousy at it)


yeah.. around us.. babies come to the world.. people around us can leave to.. as i grow up.. i'm faced with more pple leaving the world.. close to me or not.. it often makes me wonder.. wat happens one day.. if someone realli close to me leaves me behind? will i be sad? will i b able to take it? and even before they leave me.. would i have brought them to the Lord? or would they die without knowing this wonderful God? and.. wat will happen if i leave the world? will i be remembered? will anione be sad? will i end up in heaven with God or in hell? hmm.. so many questions run through my mind.. death.. well it's not that scary.. it's just.. i dunno..


just in case u're wondering why i'm tinking so much about life and death.. a relative of my fren just passed away.. and not long ago.. i heard about deaths too.. yeah.. so.. yar.. death.. does it scare u? well.. it used to scare me when i was younger.. but now.. actualli.. i'm kinda like looking forward to die.. haaha.. so sad ah.. haha.. but well.. sometimes i'm just so tired of wats around me.. i just feel like leaving this world.. sian.. coward huh? hai.. but yea.. i realli cannot stand some things that are happening la.. but well.. there's a reason why these happens in my life huh..

i'll grow stronger from it wun i? well.. i hope.. i just hope all these doesn't crush me.. yea.. and.. when i die.. i just hope that.. all my frens will be there.. all those whom i've crossed paths.. but i dun expect every single one to be there.. i just hope to "see" as many people as possible ba.. yeah so close frens of mine! get as many pple as possible! lols.. sound like some fun thing like that.. lols.. yea.. and.. i dunno.. i wan my closest fren.. to.. write wat they realli feel about the friendship that we shared.. the good and the bad.. like a letter to me.. and.. i wan it.. i dunno if i'll be able to read iy.. but ya.. haha.. and.. probably.. have it posted on my blog? haha i'll write my last words in my diary.. gor gor.. u will type it into my blog for me as well (: haha


aiyo i sound like i'm gonna die tomolo.. haha.. NO! i'm still super alive and kicking ok! haha.. one more paper to go! and i'm totally free! (: haha.. yeah i'll hang in there! (: results.. forget it huh! next year then worry.. haha.. yeah.. aniwae.. yeap.. aniwae.. i realli miss the times.. when i had so much fun as a kid.. actualli come to tink.. i din realli have alot of fun.. my childhood.. no.. it wasn't fun.. i had nightmares too.. blood.. fights.. quarrels.. things i see now.. i've seen before.. i just realised.. how sad a childhood..


alright.. time to stop scaring pple with my thoughts.. tink i'll end here.. should b back soon..