humms.. gor gor asked me this question.. struck me a little.. humms.. will i choose someone who loves me and does things for me.. but more of a friend to me.. or would i choose someone whom i love.. but probably doesn't do much for me.. and i add.. kinda takes me for granted.. i dunno.. i might be stuck between the two of them.. i wouldn't wana let go of someone whom i love.. but at the same time.. i wouldn't want to have a boyfriend that takes me for granted.. and i'm the one doing things all the time.. i dunno.. there's the need for me to feel loved as well ba.. and so.. that's when the other one who loves me and is willing to do things for me comes in.. humms.. wat a question.. of course it'll b best.. if the guy i like.. is a combi of both.. a guy i love.. willing to do things for me.. yeap.. that's too perfect le ba.. i dunno..


humms.. wat a time to b thinking about this.. sigh.. i hate exams.. i realli tink.. i'm gonna fall in the hands of A levels this time round.. i will b caught in this situation where.. my grades aren't that bad that i will have to re-take the exam.. i dunno.. it's this feeling.. it's haunting me like mad.. ): i'm going crazy le.. well.. i guess.. i'm just not cut out for constant mugging.. consistency.. discipline.. these are all NOT in me.. not a single bit.. i.. i like.. i dunno.. i just dun like conformity i guess.. i need space.. freedom.. my own choice.. i dun like to be told to study.. i dun like to.. i dunno.. basically i hate studying): and it got worse in JC.. i dunno wat i'm doing.. i dunno.. GOD! wat am i supposed to do? i'm already in this phase.. i have no where else to go.. i can onli move forward..


i still have to go on to take the exam.. but.. i realli dun wana end up with a cert that says C D E O or something worse.. CCC ain't ani better.. ): argh.. wat am i supposed to do? ): trust.. that's the onli thing i can do now.. Lord.. i want to and need to get into the university.. i dunno how i'm gonna do this.. but i'm just gonna trust u ok? Lord.. help me please.. this is the onli thing i ask for now.. uni.. that's where i'm heading for.. i'm realli desperate now.. sigh.. but if i'm not supposed to go there.. then i'll accept it.. pretty sadly i would b at first.. but.. yeah.. i'm sure i would get over it.. and life has to go on.. help me Lord.. i'm leaving all these into ur hands..


hai.. tired.. and i din study much today.. had maths consultation with mr hsi.. draining sia.. ): yea i hope things will b ok la.. i'm going to study le.. goodnight..