Friday, September 29, 2006
*.* friday! i need to sleep! :( *.*
sigh.. i slept earlier last night.. but i ended up sleeping during chem lecture today.. sian.. :( so tiring leh.. i dunno how i'm gonna hang on till A's.. i dunno.. sigh.. compared to some other pple who are muggers.. hmmm.. i'm realli not like them at all.. i'm the opposite i would say.. hahaha.. so.. yeah.. i'm a slacker.. onli mug when i realli need to.. n now the time has come but i'm not very motivated n focused in mugging yet.. sigh.. well well.. today.. school was pretty alright la.. yeah.. then after school.. went to the library then saw sheng li so i sat with him.. yeap.. then supposed to study one.. then i ended up playing bomberman on his hp.. i onli had one hour.. so i spent my time playing his phone lo.. then we left together.. went to bus stop to meet the rest.. we were heading for siglap.. cele shimin's birthday..
yupp.. we went to cafe cartel.. tink that's onli my third time there? haha.. yup but we tried quite alot of stuff.. ahaha.. ordered a something supreme to share.. haha.. then got chicken n mushroom macoroni.. crispy fish pasta.. pork ribs.. salmon something.. haha i can't remember the names la.. but aniwae.. we had fun there.. took a really LONG time to decide on wat to eat lo.. hahaha.. i left earlier.. went to PP to meet my jie jie(: see hwei.. haha.. yeap.. studied with her for bout an hour plus.. then we left together.. yup.. (: Hans is quite a nice place to study lo.. not alot of pple.. onli thing is that it's very warm.. tsk! haha.. yeah.. did a few questions on iterative methods.. hmm.. yeah..
me and my jie(:
shall attempt to do paper one of maths 2005 GCE A level paper.. :( humm.. :( sigh.. bla bleah.. :( bye bye
I needed Jesus @ | 11:59:00 PM
Thursday, September 28, 2006
*.* sigh.. did i do the wrong thing? *.*
hummss.. sigh.. i dunno if i did the wrong thing.. well.. i'm realli sorry if i did hurt anione by doing that.. hmmm.. i just hope things will not become realli bad.. yeah.. well things din feel the same today.. but.. yea.. i noe it's for the better ba.. yeap.. i'm sorry.. yeah.. today is a tiring day.. sigh n i din manage to study much.. sigh.. all thanks to checking the CCA results.. ran around like crazy woman.. sigh.. then din get to study lo.. came straight home.. n i was super drained.. :( sigh.. onli studied mass spec.. sigh.. shall practise some question then i'm going to sleep.. so so tired:( yeah.. shall keep today's entry short.. sigh.. tired tired tired.. sigh.. goodnight.. pray that i can keep to my time table! yeah.. not easy.. but yeah.. i hope i can.. sigh..
I needed Jesus @ | 10:53:00 PM
*.* i miss you, piano.. *.*
sigh.. i miss my piano so much.. everytime i'm sad.. i'm reminded of how i used to go to my piano room and just play tunes and songs to myself.. i miss those times so much.. :( sigh.. n when i was down the past few days.. i remembered my piano.. i realli miss it so much.. i actualli cried over it.. sigh.. i hope u'll come back some day.. some day.. yeah.. i tink i'm missing it so much that i dreamt of it the other day.. the dream was something like.. i got back my piano.. but i was offered another new piano.. but i refused.. if i'm not wrong.. can't realli rememeber.. hehehe.. sigh.. I MISS YOU PIANO! :( yeap.. these few days.. been pretty bad for me.. got back my papers le.. sian.. n well.. as expected.. i'm not doing well at all.. sigh.. i'm not totally prepared.. but i'm definitely more prepared than i was for JCT.. but it still turned out like that.. n maths.. totally off my expectation.. :( i cried over maths.. just for a while.. i tink i scared mummy for a while.. sigh.. yeah.. but i got over it la.. sweedy.. this is onli prelims okie.. if u dun din do well.. so b it.. now it's time on focusing on A levels.. gogogogo!! yeah.. i'm sure all of us can do this! we'll get through this period together kay?? mummy, ah ma, ah yi.. and many of u who have been there to encourage me.. (: let's mug for the next two months.. n we'll b FREE!! (: jia you everyone! i'm tired now.. going to sleep le.. goodnight..
I needed Jesus @ | 12:13:00 AM
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
*.* 懒得去管 by stef sun.. (: *.*
haha CHANGE song liao! haha.. hmm i like this song(: hehehe.. it's a happy song i tink.. i dunno leh.. but kinda.. i dunno.. i can relate to it.. haha.. cos i'm having this can't b bothered attitude towards quite alot of stuff.. hmmm bad right? sigh.. i also dunno la.. yeap.. aniwae.. today is a happy day! i had such a good time slacking at home la! my goodness.. that feeling of knowing that u can slack at EASE.. haha.. dun need to feel guilty about not studying.. sigh.. if onli this could last longer.. hmm.. haha.. yeah.. i woke up realli late.. tsk.. 1230 again.. haha.. din expect myself to wake up so late one lo.. hahaha.. pig leh.. tsk.. hahaha.. yeap.. so i slacked my day away by writing testimonials on frenster.. hahaha.. yeah.. now.. i'm just chatting.. bloggin.. n i just ate leh:( sigh.. so bao.. tsk.. cos i din have dinner.. onli had 12 grapes.. (some funny grapes) for dinner.. haha.. yeap.. gonna put on weight man.. tsk! :( haha.. yeap.. yeah.. haha.. sigh.. i'm like being a cousellor (about love affairs some more) here.. tsk.. i'm like.. HUH? sweedy.. u not that experienced.. say so much for wat.. hahaha.. lols.. well but i just hope that it will help ba.. i'm not an expert.. hahaha.. yeah.. tired le.. should b sleeping soon le.. goodnights(:
I needed Jesus @ | 12:53:00 AM
Sunday, September 24, 2006
*.* sunday.. nice day! (: *.*
hmm.. haha.. it's been half a hour ago since i opened this window to type this but i just started.. hahaha.. today suddenly so many pple approach me to talk.. i've got like almost 10 msn windows.. lols.. but this is like once in a blue moon.. hahaha.. haha.. yeap.. today.. a pretty good day i had.. except for the back ache lo.. hmm.. woke up le then helped to sweep the house.. and then help mummy to decorate her tips box for her office.. haha.. no ideas leh.. then turn out was bad la.. :(:( sorry mummy.. i'll redo it.. haha.. then settled cheryl's present.. yup yup.. oh i helped mummy to wash the fan covers too.. hahaha.. (and then someone scold me.. say nv take care of my back.. :(:( ) hahaha.. yeap.. then i slacked away lo.. with my aching back.. i can't do anithing much also la.. sian.. yeah.. went to grandma's place at bout 8+.. watched singapore idol final.. hahaha.. i'm mesmerised by jonathan man.. hahaha.. din like him that much till today.. he's so charming.. especially that eyes.. hahaha.. got "electrified" le.. lols hees.. but gecky is for hady.. wahaha.. so we're fighting it out man.. lols.. actualli i wouldn't mind hady too la.. just that i tink jon is more charming.. got the X-factor.. hahaha.. (: yeap.. n i'm home now.. n made a little observation and came to a conclusion.. hmmm.. haha.. mummy and daddy.. they cannot talk together for too long.. cos mummy will say something that will kinda hurt feelings la.. but in a joking manner.. but well.. it may sometimes result in an argument or quarrel lo.. i hope i'm nv like that ba.. sigh.. yeap.. i hope i'll marry someone whom i love and loves me.. n we'll not hurt each other.. yeah.. not easy ba.. but well.. Lord i'm leaving the job to u(: haha.. and gor gor.. thanks for being such a wonderful brother.. (: thanks for tolerating with my nonsense.. thanks for everything.. thanks for loving me as a sister(: thanks thanks thanks.. (: haha.. tink i'm going off liao.. finally finish this post after a long one a a half hour.. haha.. goodnight..
I needed Jesus @ | 11:56:00 PM
*.* saturday. i should b at service:( *.*
hmm.. today is saturday.. i woke up pretty late despite sleeping at 12 last night.. i slept for about 12 hours.. hmm.. hee.. such a piggy.. haha.. yeah..did some cleaning up after i washed up.. then went to have fried rice for lunch cum breakfast.. yup yup.. then started on cheryl's present.. (: hehehe.. yup.. settled 7/8 of it at bout 5+.. yup yup.. (: hope she'll like it(:yup then went to my aunt's place.. my paternal aunt.. celebrate her 60th bday.. hahaha.. old huh? hahha i din realli want to go cos my back was hurting n i din want to walk around.. but well.. i din have a choice.. yah.. the onli thing that i liked about family gathering.. is playing with my fave kiddies(: my cousins and nieces(: haha.. theie so cute.. hahaha.. took pics with them today.. here they are(:
me with kiddies! (: (i know they all love me!) hees
one of my fave.. faith.. she supposed to look like the younger me.. haha..
samantha! (: she looks like 蜡笔小新 (: haha
faith and charis' maid.. hope i get a maid like her next time.. (:
another of my favourite.. (: eunice(:
one more favourite! (: charis(: hees..
eunice
faith
charis
charis chose this background on her own.. i guess she's gonna make alot of money next time! (:
haha.. yeah.. had fun with the kids today.. but couldn't carry them.. cos of my back.. sigh.. came home.. mummy massaged for me.. but din manage to get the part that's painful.. dunno leh.. it's like so deep inside.. sian.. dunno.. hope it's nothing serious ba.. n i tink i'm going to sleep le.. tired.. goodnights.. (:
I needed Jesus @ | 2:13:00 AM
Friday, September 22, 2006
*.* it's finally OVER! HOORAY!! *.*
hmmm.. no more prelim papers animore! HOORAY!! (: hahaha.. wah.. i was like.. FINALLY! :( yeah yeah yeah! sigh but this wun last for long ba.. sian.. :( yeah.. aniwae.. let's talk about HAPPIER stuffs..
hmm was pretty tired today though.. yeah.. went to chinatown with "mummy" and "daddy".. hahaha.. wanteng and zhen liang la.. lols.. n met my Ricky there.. wahahaha.. SISTER! wahaha.. aniwae.. we were heading for Kbox.. yups.. had dessert before that.. wahaha.. yeah..(: pictures below(: hahaha.. so we went k!!!!! hahaha.. yeah.. sang alot of songs.. went crazy basically.. hahaha.. 8(: had loads of fun! (: yeap.. hahaha.. supposed to be 11am to 2pm one.. hehehehe but we sang until like 3 la.. haha.. n NOBODY came to chase us at all.. yeap..
me and mummy wanteng!
jia mei ricky and me!
me and lao ba(zhen liang) (:
WE'RE TRANSPARENT!! :(
then i had to meet brother at cathay, mummy had to go home to sleep cos she has something on later.. yeap yeap.. jie mei went to orchard to meet kai sheng.. lao ba went home.. hahaha.. yeap.. hmmm.. then went to PS.. met hwee ming there.. n it's her birthday today! aiyoyo.. n i din wish her.. so i went to buy a card and gave it to her lo.. hmmm yaeh then went to cathay with brother to catch "Banquet".. yeap yeap.. not bad.. pretty artistic though.. yeah.. n very bloody scenes.. arh.. hahaha..
yeah.. but i tot the show was quite alright la.. yeap.. mayb u can consider catching it.. hahaha.. yeap.. tink my mood not very right today la.. n i'm pretty tired from the lack of rest.. well.. got irritated today.. over small stuff.. hmmm.. i tink i've changed quite a bit since dunno when:( argh.. i hate myself.. i realli do.. i'm making people's lives so miserable.. so miserable.. my family.. my frens.. argh.. and i guess.. i can't blame anione if pple decide to stay away from me.. hmm.. i sound like a depressed freak now.. argh.. i am in fact.. i guess i just try to hide it.. no point showing that side to anione la.. i'll just keep it as it is.. i'm tired.. tink i'm sleeping soon.. goodnight.. i miss my old self..
I needed Jesus @ | 11:35:00 PM
Thursday, September 21, 2006
*.* ONE LAST PAPER! *.*
hahah!! MUAHAHAHAHA~~ oops.. this is then post prelim symptom i would sae... aha.. becoming mad.. hahaha.. well well.. two weeks.. finally over.. staying up.. getting ulcers.. snacking to keep myself alive(wonder if i put on weight).. aniwae.. yeah.. not an easy time i would say.. but i thank God for keeping me company every night(: yeah.. and also many concerned frens too(: thanks thanks thanks(: yeah.. well as i can foresee.. i'm not gonna get very good results.. so i should say bye bye to slacking.. time to realli put in hard work.. sweedy.. this is realli time to get realli serious with work.. yeah.. pple.. pray for me k? yup.. n i thank those who have been keeping me in prayers.. (: thanks thanks thanks! (: yeah.. tomolo's bio mcq.. hope things will turn out fine.. let me pass as least.. hahah.. i dunno la.. i just hope i get at least a D for all my subs (but pretty impossible for Chem ba..) well well.. dunno la.. sian.. tink i'm going off now.. time to continue with bio.. oh i'm going to K tomolo!! wahaha.. kbox or kster.. not confirmed yet.. ahaha.. but we're going! WOOHOO!! (: take care everyone.. n remember that GOd loves u and me!! (:
I needed Jesus @ | 11:45:00 PM
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
*.* bored.. tired.. :( *.*
hmmm. tuesday.. doing nothing at home at the moment.. spent the day doing chem mcq.. which made me feel realli demoralised.. sigh.. tink i'm going to fail chem for good.. sian.. aniwae.. wana rant about my day so far.. :(:( was doing my mcqs.. tinking hard.. and rubbing my itchy eyes which are hurting now.. :( and there my mum and my brother were like arguinf over his homework.. like how am i supposed to concentrate! wat the hell.. argh.. got realli pissed:( sigh.. then i gave up on doing it le so i'm here.. yeah.. will probably be playing game later.. sian.. :(:( aniwae.. i did a little personalitly test i would say.. lao ba send me one.. and here's the results.. haha.. (tink i've been doing so many tests..)
"You are the grass-fragrance type:You have a very strong will, not dependent on others and gives an impression of being a lone-ranger. You are extremely curious and sensual, living ia clear-headed, modern life. At first glance, you place yourself on a pedestral, and are difficult to get along. But once others talk to you, they know you are easygoing. And when the relationship develops, they realise youa re affable. You have ab androgynous (having both male and female characteristics) charm, which makes you popular with all genders. But you don't like your weak side to be seen. You might look cool on the surface but beneath it all, you are really passionate. Only the people who know you can maintain a long lasting relationship with you."
yup yup.. that's all folks.. tink i shall end here.. mayb i'll add some more stuff tonight.. goodbye for now..
oh this is funny.. ahaha..
sian.. i'm back.. :( and i had a bad time just now.. :( argh.. my dad sent my brother for tuition and i was playing games online.. playing my fave game.. n i broke the highest record today! :) haha got 101** points.. i can't remember the last two digits.. yeah.. then i got bored so i went offline le..
my dad came home and i was bathing.. then i went out after i bathed.. went to collect my bio past year prelim papers from ellie.. i told my dad when i was going out.. then got a call from my mum.. then she was being so freaking irritating.. she asked me where i was i going n how come i din tell her i'm going out.. i told her that i've already informed my dad and i wun b out for long anyway.. then she was like how come dun wana go out in the afternoon when she was at home.. HELLO u tink everyone is as free as me? home all the time as long as i dun have school? please la.. they have their own activities.. they DUN HAVE TO stay at home to look after their siblings who are already old enough to look after themselves!
then she suspected that i have a prob with my dad.. like avoiding him or something.. WAT THE HELL!! please la.. stop being so suspicious all the time can.. i'm was DAMN pissed la.. she's always like that la.. tink this tink that.. HELLO please let me go.. i need my space.. i need my freedom.. i need my own time.. i have my own rights.. DAMN.. i was so irritated with her.. i was quarrelling over the phone with her.. and i tink i scared the person at the bus stop when i was waiting for the bus.. sigh.. i almost cried.. but well.. i did not.. i called brother after that.. n his phone batt was low.. so we din talk..
well.. i realised that recently.. i've been less open with my life.. especially at the point when something happens.. well.. like when something unhappy happens to me.. i rather just coop myself in my room.. go to sleep.. :(:( well.. i dunno.. i just dun wana talk at all.. i'm tired.. realli.. and i'm afraid that if i talk i'll end up crying.. i dun wan to cry.. to let anione noe i'm crying that is.. i dunno.. well.. i'm in no mood to talk now too.. n i should tink that if anione calls me when i'm down.. i guess.. that person can expect to listen to my voicemail music.. enjoy urself everyone.. goodnight..
I needed Jesus @ | 9:13:00 PM
Monday, September 18, 2006
*.* finally.. the crazy papers are OVER.. two more to go.. *.*
haha.. it's OVER!! (unofficially though) hee.. yeap yeap.. haha.. two more MCQ papers to go.. all the way!!!! hahaa.. yeah.. i'm high already le.. (: yeah.. haha.. well.. i'm high.. doesn't mean i'm gonna do well for my papers la.. well.. i'm just glad that this crazy period is almost over! :) sigh.. but another one is coming up.. sigh.. as u can see from the countdown timer.. sigh.. another 1 month and a little few days.. sian... just hope i can make it la.. if not i'll just die lo.. and there i have my mum making all the noise that she can.. scolding this and that.. asking me wat i'm doing online.. talking to who.. HELLO! i know well enough not to like talk to strangers la.. please la.. sian.. i've seen the news and stuff.. i wun get myself hurt for no reason lo.. please.. and please dun ever say bad things about my fren ok! ur frens very perfect meh? i dun tink so lo.. so u dun ahve the right to stop me from hanging out with my frens! sian.. why ah.. why am i so irritated with her.. i dunno la.. sigh.. i realli hate this.. felt like walking out a couple of times.. but i noe this is not the right thing to do.. sian:( i'm tired.. i tink i'm sleeping soon.. goodnight.. n gor gor.. thanks for the medicine and key chain.. the ulcer's getting better i should tink.. (: HUGS!! (: thanks alot! take care and have enough rest all u out there!! (: MUACKS!
I needed Jesus @ | 11:44:00 PM
Sunday, September 17, 2006
*.* ulcers sucks! :( *.*
argh.. had to fight the pain of having my ulcers coming in contact with the food n drink that i took today.. :(:( argh.. so pain.. :(:( wana cry le:( i put salt on my ulcer last night upon seeing the ulcer surrounded by blood clot.. :( so gross.. i shall decide if i'm gonna put the pic of my ulcer that i took.. hahaha.. but aniwae.. i had a HARD time bearing with the pain lo.. wah.. :(:( almost cried.. :( but it din work.. it got bigger this morning.. (so gecky.. salt makes ulcers worse) :(:( that's the case for me at least.. gor gor asked me to try using tea bag.. but i tried finding but there isn't a single tea bag at home.. well.. yeah.. woke up at 12 this afternoon.. then din wana talk to anione at all.. especially my mum.. so i kept very quiet.. just ate my breakfast and went to study.. but nothing was going in.. my dad and my brother came home and my dad switched on the tv.. even worse.. so i moved into my room to study.. was on the bed.. and i felt like sleeping.. crap.. nothing was going in as well.. so i declared that i'm not in the mood to study! :( so i spent alot of time stoning.. and up till now.. i should have been done.. but i'm still at my second last chapter.. well..so i'm giving up on the last chapter.. gonna do a paper later then go sleep at 12 le.. today.. well.. still ain't in the mood to joke with anione lo.. still pretty affected by wat happened yesterday.. n wats worse.. my mum pretends that nothing happened.. hello! i tried to take my stand.. but u din let me.. and u pretend that nothing happened.. how fake.. this deters me more from talking to u.. i hate that..sigh.. i dunno.. i dun feel like talking.. i just feel like shutting myself up.. and ignore this whole world.. but.. there are pple i noe i can't do this to.. :(:(:( sigh.. watever it is.. Lord.. i need ur strength to survive on in this environment.. gtg now.. n i'll leave the disgusting picture of my ulcer.. haha.. skip it if u dun wana see.. byee
there.. HOW GROSS!! :( see the dark bloody area? that's the blood clot stuff:( and the white part the ulcer:(:( SOB SOB SOB! :(
I needed Jesus @ | 10:45:00 PM
Saturday, September 16, 2006
*.* i dun like this *.*
this is my second post today.. hmm.. i have no mood to study at all.. after i was online today.. i went to sleep.. din study at all.. well if u consider the first few pages of electrochem studying.. yeah.. cried till my eyes were tired.. so i went to sleep.. n it was raining some more.. nice weather to sleep lo.. yeah.. slept at 430.. n woke up at 515.. but i refused to get up.. so i lazed in bed till bout 6+.. n i was freaking irritated by my siblings.. so i got up and shouted at them n went back to bed.. got up at bout 630.. yah.. came online.. chat.. and watced bleach.. n i tink i'm going to sleep soon.. my mum is home.. i dun feel like talking to her.. n she just tried to be nice to me by keep HALF an egg tart.. sorry.. i'm not interested in this kind of fakeness.. i need my space so stay away from me.. i'm tired now.. gonna bring my notes into my room to study.. n sleep when i'm tired.. so expect myself to do pretty badly for the chem paper 2 that's coming up on monday.. well i'm realli not in the mood today.. people around me.. i'm sorry.. i'm not in the mood to talk or crap.. so pardon my rudeness if i was rude or cold to u.. going off now.. goodnightaniwae.. on a lighter note.. these are wat have been keeping me alive while i was burning midnight oil for prelims.. n now i'm stuck with three ulcers.. gosh.. :( waiting for them to recover n i refuse to put salt.. :( so pain.. :(:( sigh.. yup.. so here's a whole list of stuffs..
I needed Jesus @ | 10:01:00 PM
*.* disappointment? tired.. persevere? weak.. *.*
well the day has just started not long ago.. n i'm already tired.. from eyes that were filled with tears.. well.. it just hurts and.. i dunno.. i dun understand why.. ok i know i'm not a good daughter.. i'm not a good sister.. i'm not a good fren.. i'm sorry for being such an irritating person.. getting irritated so easily during this period.. i'm sorry i can't handle my stress well.. i apologize.. but.. i have to say that i'm onli a human and i'm not perfect.. i'm learning too.. it's not that i wan to make everyone around me so unhappy.. well.. afterall.. it'll b better if i din exist huh? i dunnoasked my mum today if i could go to church.. she was in the room.. i was standing at the entrance of the room.. then she was like go church for wat.. then started a whole thing about church and my attitude to pple at home.. pple around me and stuff.. i was just standing there listening to her.. sad of course.. i know that's a no le lo.. while listening, i saw blinding white spots.. like wat u would see on tv when there's not "reception"? u noe.. then u the screen with alot of white spots.. ya.. then i saw more and more spots.. i leaned back onto the wall.. blinked to get them off.. but i saw more and more spots.. then my ears.. there was this "eeeeeeeeeeeee" sound.. getting louder and louder.. then i couldn't hear wat my mum was saying clearly.. n i couldn't see her clearly too.. all i saw was blinding white spots.. so i just stood against the wall.. hoping i wouldn't faint or anithing.. then she stopped for a while and din bother about me.. then i hurry went back to my study table and sat down.. n it went away after some time.. wats that.. if anione knows please tell me k.. at least if this is a sign that i'm gonna die soon cos of some sickness.. i can b prepared.. oh crap.. sound so sadistic.. well.. that's wat i'm feeling now aniwae.. i realli tink the world will b a better place without me.. pple would b happier without having me to hurt them.. oh well.. i dunno wats all these i'm going through.. but i'll take it as lessons to help me grow then.. it's gonna b difficult.. i dunno.. if i say i'm tired.. there's nothing i can do also.. i dunno.. torn.. that's how i am feeling.. trying to obey my mum.. yet i want to take my stand for my faith.. i'm feeling torn apart.. God wat am i supposed to do? i feel like i'm such a failure. such a coward.. such an idiot.. i wana leave this place..
I needed Jesus @ | 2:58:00 PM
*.* 6 down.. 3 more to go.. *.*
woots! hahaha.. today is the best day of the so many days this week.. cos today is the onli "ok" paper that i took.. today's bio paper three.. option paper.. yeah.. not that much to study for so i could finish my revision on time.. yupp.. just that i was still feeling unprepared cos i can't realli remember wat i studied.. n i need to remember because it's especially important for essay!!! yeap yeap.. the paper was one and a half hour.. and i din have enough time at all! :( sigh.. tink i spent too much time tinking of wat to write and writing too much for some questions.. i left a 6 marks question blank.. the essay.. three parts.. but i din manage to finish the first part.. onli finished the second and third part(which not say will get full marks la) haha.. so another 6 marks lost.. and some small parts in the front too.. so that's about 20 marks gone.. i dunno out of how many marks la.. but.. sigh.. i dunno.. it's not that good a thing to know how to do a paper also right.. u end up wrting too much.. hmm i dunno.. but know how to do better than dunno how to do right? hahaha..yeah.. after the paper today.. went to meet geckie.. planned to study electrochem n thermochem at macs one.. but i was realli tired.. n drained. couldn't focus.. yeah.. so i gave up.. and so did geck.. on her geography.. i'm sorry girl.. :( such a bad influence:(:(:( sorry sorry!! sigh.. then i din wana go home yet.. so i went down to geck's place.. hehehe.. err everyone was at home lo.. haha.. i saw her gor gor n her mummy first.. ahhaha.. then i told her(secretly) that her gor gor put on weight.. then she tell her gor gor!! aiyoyo.. so paiseh.. sorry geck ying gor gor.. hahaha.. jia you on jian fei-ing.. hahaha.. yeah.. then watched a little tv with them.. then her mum say how i lose weight one.. teach her son.. lol.. everytime she see me.. she will say that i lose weight.. WHERE GOT! if onli lo.. haha.. spent time at her house looking at school mags.. yeah.. haha.. got some of my ugly picture then i dun wana let her see.. hahaha.. tink she irritated.. hehe.. sorry k? haha.. yeah.. then left her place at ten.. said bye bye to everyone in the house.. yeah.. pretty babe sent me to the bus stop.. yeah.. thanks mei nu(: hahaha.. HUGS.. i'm realli glad to have u in my life(sounds like wat i'll say to my future boyfren) lols.. but yeah.. thanks alot for this friendship.. realli love u loads! yeap.. sorry if i'm such an irritating freak most of the time.. but noe that no matter wat.. i still love u so! (: HUGS!! haha.. super tired now.. going to sleep le.. goodnight..
I needed Jesus @ | 1:06:00 AM
Thursday, September 14, 2006
*.* 5 down.. 4 more to go *.*
hmm.. 4 more! that's good news.. and bad news at the same time.. sigh.. well.. it's good that this stressful period is gonna b over.. but another wave of stress is gonna come on me again.. A levels will b in one and a half months time after my prelims.. sigh.. it's time to mug mug and do nothing else but mug again.. sighhhhhaniwae.. stayed up till 2plus yesterday again.. sigh.. was supposed to sleep by 1 la! tsk.. stupid maths.. sigh.. study le.. then did the past years papers.. i was so happy that i could actualli do the tjc prelim stats questions.. but today.. the questions.. were MADNESS la.. :(:(:( i lost alot of marks le.. sigh.. just hope that those that i could do would save me.. pass at least.. sigh.. :(:( yeah.. this prelim.. is as bad as my june common test.. not that i din study.. but i studied n can't remember.. i din study for everything also la.. i dunno wat i'm talking about.. but i'm sure i was much more prepared than i was for jct.. but.. doesn't seem to make a great diff.. well.. wat can i say? i'm not cut out for jc i guess.. who cares la.. i'm gonna get over and done with my A's and even if i realli dun do well.. it's not the end of the world ba.. yeah.. tired le.. going to sleep now.. gonna wake up at 2 to study for bio.. tomolo paper two.. on option topic.. growth and reproduction.. quite a handful to study for.. i've forgotten wat i studied before the hols le.. din touch bio in the hols.. yeah.. good thing it's afternoon paper tomolo.. God bless me.. gtg now.. good"night".. Lord.. help me to depend on you for strength.. n not on my own.. not on others.. but you..
I needed Jesus @ | 1:22:00 PM
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
*.* 4 down.. 5 more to go *.*
well well.. wat a day.. sian.. so tired la.. sigh.. :( it's already wednesday.. two more days.. and i can get proper sleep le.. sigh.. aniwae.. slept at 230 last night.. was trying to chiong my chem.. but biochem wasn't helping much.. IT'S SO FREAKING BORING.. my phone was pretty quiet all night.. until ting an sent me a msg.. i got a SHOCK when my phone rang.. TING AN! i'll get u for this! haha.. scared me in the middle of the night.. hahaha.. or should i say.. morning? haha.. sigh.. planned to sleep at 3 or later one.. sigh.. geck asked me to wake her up at 2.. yeah.. then i called her le.. then went back to biochem.. but i got realli sleepy after that.. and at 230, i decided.. i shall just go and die the next morning.. so i went to sleep without finishing ALOT.. yeah.. so i went to sleep.. and the next thing i knew was my mummy barging into my room.. "六点半了！起来了！" haha.. i JUMPED out of bed la.. sian.. haha.. but daddy fetched me to school so i wasn't late.. hahaha.. yeap.. so it was the paper at 8am.. sigh.. wat a time of the day.. n i was realli tired.. my head and neck was so heavy.. sigh.. i wanted to cry.. but well.. i got through the paper.. flipping and flipping.. looking for questions that i could do.. not many though.. i was idling my time away.. sigh.. 2hrs 45 mins.. pretty difficult to pass.. yeah.. this paper.. realli bad.. cos alot that i din study all come out.. ARGH! sigh.. i can only depend on my structured and my MCQ to help me pass chem le.. sigh.. sian sian sian.. it's 5 and i gtg study now.. GOSH!! :( tomolo's maths paper 2.. time to go chong maths.. i'm gonna sleep early tonight! latest will b 1am! (: byee
I needed Jesus @ | 4:56:00 PM
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
*.* three down.. six more to go.. *.*
i'm am totally drained.. and i mean totally.. and such a crappy day i had.. argh.. things just turn up at the WRONG time.. totalli wrong time.. tsk.. yesterday.. after i was offline.. mr bryan called me.. haha.. he tried to trick me again but well.. I AM SMART! hahaha(: yeah.. chatted with him for a while.. yeah.. mr bryan, if u're reading this.. dun so sian la.. two years will b over in a flash(: eh. i can survive this stupid jc life, i'm sure u can survive ur army life k? (: ahaha sing more songs and pray to God more often(: hahaha.. yeah.. after i hung up, went to study for bio(looking back, i shouldn't have bothered to) oh well.. yeah.. studied till bout 11 and i was realli very tired.. so i took a nap.. asked gor gor to give me a call at 12.. i was supposed to sleep at 8.. haha but well.. din feel like sleeping yet so i studied as much as i can.. aniwae.. i woke up at 12.. then studied till 2+.. and i was tired le.. couldn't put anithing else into my brain.. so i decided that i should go and sleep.. yeah.. this morning panic attack lo.. din finish revising.. couldn't remember much about phtotsynthesis? respiration? i dunno.. i couldn't remember a single thing.. yeah.. aniwae.. during the bio paper.. the worst thing happened to me.. sigh.. only to find that i stained my skirt after the bio paper.. (2hours later).. oh well.. :( sigh.. aniwae... after bio, went to the library to do as much maths as i could.. then went for the paper at 2.. another crazy paper.. sigh.. i obviously couldn't do some questions.. sian.. n i suddenly forgot some stuffs.. which got me realli realli irritated with myself.. if i could.. i would have stood up and shouted.. sigh.. but the paper was over in a flash aniwae.. at least it was fast.. now i'm at home.. home alone.. feeling so so drained.. so so tired.. i dunno how long i can tahan this crap.. sigh.. wat a shitty life.. :( argh.. well aniwae.. wana extend my thanks to many many ppl(: first and foremost! my mummy! hahaha she ah.. see me studying at night keep asking me to go and sleep! then i nv study she ask me why nv study.. tsk.. so irritating.. yeah.. then last night.. she came home le.. then went downstairs to get me chicken essence(WHICH I HATE!) but yeah.. she buy so i had to drink lo.. then today.. she called me and asked me how was my paper.. yeah.. thanks mummy.. i love you(: next up.. hahaha.. thank God for this wonderful brother of mine.. (: hahaha.. although i'm such a naughty little sister.. i noe he still loves me alot! (: hahaha.. thanks gor gor(: haha.. i msged him complaining about my day.. and how bad my cramps were.. n he called me up(: and prayed for me! (: thanks thanks thanks(: HUGS! last but not least.. (alot of ppl) ahaha... wana thank all those who have been ever so generous with ur encouraging words and concern.. Ethel, Geck Ying, PJ, Rathika, and many many others(: thanks alot(: those msges and talks realli helped loosen me up.. yeap.. thanks man! (: time for me to take a nap le(although i just had my dinner..) oops.. wat a pig.. haha.. but dun care la.. i'm feeling tired and uncomfortable.. goodnight! (:
I needed Jesus @ | 7:07:00 PM
Monday, September 11, 2006
*.* day 1.. i'm already 3/4 drained.. *.*
GP paper today.. wat stupid questions do i have.. let me list them for u.. these are essay questions..
1. How far should citizens in your country rely on the government to solve their problems?2. Discuss the plight of women in the world today. 3. Consider the view that killing in any form can never be justified (this is wat i attempted)4. "Censorship of the media is becoming increasingly difficult but the need for censorship is becoming increasingly greater." Discuss.5. Do you agree that eradicating poverty is a lost cause?6. "Natural disasters are beyond our control." Do you agree?7. "Science cannot explain everything; religion can." Discuss8. "Blogging is nothing more than idle chatter and self indulgence." Is this a fair comment? 9. Is silence always golden?10. "The most important thing is not to win, but to take part" (Baron Pierre de Coubertin). Is this true of sports today?11. "Consumerism makes the world go round." Comment.12. "Your attitude, not you aptitude, determines your altitude" (G. Carter). Is this true?yeah.. that's TJ's GP paper 1 for you.. wat wonderful questions.. got me stuck for quite long.. sigh.. i'm a very tired girl today.. :( sigh.. the day started fine.. but it got really bad towards the end.. yeah.. expected la.. slept late.. woke up early.. of course tired la.. i'm one person who needs ALOT of sleep.. like 10 hrs at least? sigh.. been sleeping at 2 and waking up at 12 in the holidays n now i've gotta get up 6 hours earlier even when i sleep at the same time.. how tiring can this get.. sigh.. someone save me!! :( aniwae.. tomolo will b the worst day.. Bio paper 2 in the morning.. followed by Maths paper 1 in the afternoon.. i'm so going to die man.. sigh.. :(:( then after tomolo.. i gotta prepare for Chem paper 3(the worst paper) on wednesday.. AHHHHHH!! i'm going crazy le la.. :(:( sob sob.. Lord.. can time fly now?? :(:( argh.. after today's paper.. i went to paya lebar to study.. met PJ.. yeap.. asked him to help me with some maths.. sighhhh... :( i suck at maths man.. sian.. aniwae.. i tried to do as much as i can lo.. but din do much also la.. sian.. yeah.. i was realli realli tired.. aniwae.. PJ.. thanks for ur time today.. :( sorry for holding u up for so long.. ): sigh.. thanks thanks and thanks.. (: i owe u one ya? haha.. then went to geck's house to get my darling eraser.. hahaha.. yeah.. just got home not long ago.. i'm really really tired.. :( save me.. :( tink i'll go take a bath and take a nap for an hour.. sigh.. hope i wake up.. Lord.. help me.. if anione sees this.. please give me a call at 930pm. WAKE ME UP!! haha.. but i guess i'll b up la.. haha.. alright.. gotta keep it short today.. bye bye..
I needed Jesus @ | 8:01:00 PM
Sunday, September 10, 2006
*.* no more days!! i'm dying tomorrow!! ): *.*
bleah.. i'm so so so dead.. sigh.. it's tomolo.. sigh.. first paper.. GP.. i din prepare anithing for GP.. ): heck la.. die then die la.. (i just said that on the phone) hahaha.. aniwae.. yeah.. sigh.. not prepared for my papers.. sigh.. well.. i can onli watch myself die lo.. sian.. :(:( yeah.. today.. geck came to my place to study with me lo.. yeah.. i finished about 3 chpts of organic chem.. alcohol phenol and carbonyl compounds.. sian.. yeah.. gonna do integration before i sleep. wat a topic to do right.. sigh.. sure get very irritated with myself.. haha.. well.. that's the best i can do la.. at least try to do some work before i die ma.. hahaha.. yeah.. trying to b a little positive here.. yeah yeah.. well.. Lord.. i just pray for a calm heart.. however difficult the paper.. i just pray that u help me to get through it and concentrate on the papers that are coming up.. (: Lord i thank you for friends around me who have been so supportive and caring(: i thank you for my wonderful gor gor Elvin(not yan dao) haha.. thanks for his prayer and care(: i thank you for geck ying.. who's always makes me smile(: thanks girl.. u study hard too kay! we'll jia you together n we'll get pass e finishing line(: muacks!! and i wana thank you for PJ who has been so generous with supportive words(: thanks(: yeap.. i pray for all others out there who are having a hard time.. Lord help them to get through it! (: and to become stronger from it(: thank you Lord.. i love you Jesus.. deep down in my heart! (: HUGS!! off to do integration now le.. sian.. goodnights..
I needed Jesus @ | 11:17:00 PM
Saturday, September 09, 2006
*.* 1 more day.. before i stand before death.. *.*
hmmm.. the feeling of being home alone.. eating cup noodles for dinner.. realli scares me now.. sigh.. i dunno la.. mayb it's just me.. but i'm feeling kinda down.. yeah.. dunno why.. just feel kinda down today.. dunno why.. i dunno why.. dun ask me la.. ask me i'l tell u i dunno why also.. yeah.. aniwae.. some happy stuffd today ba.. dun always talk about sad stuffs.. haha.. today.. supposed to meet geck to study.. but since i was going to church.. i could onli meet her to study for like 3 hours.. had to leave by 6 to get to church on time.. yeah then she say.. onli for such a short while then she rather study at home lo.. since she's like comfortable studying at home.. haha.. yeah.. sorry girl.. then since i wasn't meeting her le.. then i called pj lo.. since he said he can meet up.. yeap..was tinking whether i should invite him for fellowship.. cos he couldn't make it for service.. but decided that i should la.. then tot it wouldn't b a bad idea going to church to study first.. shun bian ask him some chem questions.. yeah.. so carried on with my plans lo.. hahaha.. called pj then decided to meet him at the 51 bus stop then we went to church together.. (: yeap.. n spent bout an hour on chem kinetics.. then had fellowship! (:(: fellowship was good.. had games first.. n thanks to my gd fren PJ.. i was being sabo-ed!! :( so kena forfeit lo.. tsk!! haha.. n the last round.. i killed myself la.. pass to the wrong side.. tsk.. hahaha.. so i had to drink evon's special drink(sweet sauce+sugar+tapwater) yeah.. tast quite alright la.. hahaha.. yeah.. then we had pepsi cola 1-2-3(:(: I AM THE WINNER!! WAHAHAH *ROAR* hahah.. that i must thank my dear gor gor for training throughout the year.. hehehe.. yeap... then played to "newspaper" game without newspaper.. yeap.. my group lost! :( argh.. haha.. we had to drink the left over evon's special water that i din finish.. hahaha.. yeap.. then later was the use watever u have to form the longest line.. stupid ting an n elvin zhen3 us.. we form so long.. then later they ask us to put everything back in place asap.. fastest wins.. tsk! :( hahaha.. yeah.. so my group took a very long time to do so.. hahaha but we had fun(: then it was my groups presentation.. we sang the song "with Christ in the vessel" (: hoped they liked it.. haha.. made them sing along with us.. (: then ethel's group did gospel presentation.. hahaha..FUNNY LA.. tsk tsk.. lols.. yeah.. then fellowship ended at bout 530.. yea.. then showed pj the church.. walked around.. aha.. yeah.. then went back inside then ting an and desmond and ethel sat down and talked with pj.. hope he felt welcomed(: haha.. PJ if u're reading this.. realli hope to see u join us in church some day n accpet Christ! (: yeah.. (: i'm sure God will touch ur heart some day.. just like he touched many others(: i'll keep praying! yeap.. went for saturday@seven.. it was a nice service.. nice msg.. reminded me of how God's love is unconditional.. yeah.. was tinking.. love that i get around me.. is not totalli unconditional.. like.. i dunno la.. mayb it's not this way but this is wat i feel.. like from parents.. they love their children.. but they would wan their children to behave themselves.. well.. mayb that's not a very good analogy.. let's see.. frens.. frens love u because they like you.. because they like being with u.. i tink that's true.. yeah.. but God.. no matter how we hurt Him.. how we sin against Him.. His love for us.. is always there.. He never condemns us.. well.. how great is such love.. No Greater Love
You loved me, when I was so unlovely,
You sought me when I was lost;
You showed me how much You really loved me,
When You bought me at the highest cost.
Chorus:
There's no greater love than this,
There's no greater love than this,
That a man would give his life for a friend;
There's no higher sacrifice than a man would give his life,
You have paid a precious price for me.
You chose me, when I was so unworthy,
You cleansed me with Your own blood;
You clothed me with righteousness and mercy,
And You crowned me with Your steadfast love.
yeah.. this song realli touched my heart.. God gave His life so that i could live.. and build a relationship with Him.. He loved me unconditionally.. there's no greater love than this.. in this.. i can take comfort.. indeed.. sigh.. even when i feel down.. i have to remind myself of God's great love.. man may fail me.. but God will nv.. this i am sure.. sigh.. i have to remind myself.. and stop myself from getting into those depressing moods.. yeah.. Lord.. help me to remember that i've got a great and lovely God(: yeah... and i realised.. how dependent i am on company.. i can't stand being alone (unless i realli want to b alone).. i need company.. i need at least one person beside me. whether we talk or not is a different story.. i just need someone's presence.. sighh.. yeah.. aniwae.. yaand was talking to chang yuan.. haha.. yeah.. he kept saying he blogs quality stuff (i wun disagree).. not that it's not true wat.. yeah.. then he compared a part of mine to his..yeah.. can see the difference la.. then he told me his fren once told him that he wants to redo his whole blog cos he doesn't want to blog about his life but more general stuffs.. well.. when he told me that.. i had nothing against it la.. just felt that.. it's my blog.. i can blog wat i want ah.. i mean.. ya.. i'm not restricted to blog things that pple want to read.. i dunno if whoever is reading noes wat i mean la.. but i just wana b myself.. n this is where i can write out how i feel.. well my language isn't that fantastic. but.. yeah.. i am just voicing out my own tots.. n if anione doesn't like it.. just close the page n dun visit this again lo...yeah.. tink it's a pretty long post today.. thanks for reading.. sorry for wasting ur time.. i tink i'm tinking a little too much today.. i dunno why.. mayb it's stress.. maybe it's tiredness.. but watever it is.. it's me n my blog.. yeah.. tink i shall stop here..
I needed Jesus @ | 11:19:00 PM
Friday, September 08, 2006
*.* 2 more scary days!! :( *.*
argh.. i onli got two days left.. i haven touched bio since i last revised two weeks before.. still got like nervous control, asexual reproduction, sexual reproduction in humans and flowering plants.. the basic topics.. and those that i've revised.. i've clean forgotten about them.. HOW!! :( argh.. i also dunno how.. maths.. still got ap, gp, sigma, integration, vectors, DE, MI, complex numbers, P&C.. my goodness.. when am i gonna finish all these!! :( n chem.. i'm planning to finish organic chem by tomolo.. then still got electrochem, thermochem, group study, option study( proteins, enzymes, lipids, carbohydrates and nuclei acids).. oh crap how to finish in two days.. CRAZY~! :( yeah.. well well.. i dunno la.. just finish wat i can.. but i will get the panic attack when i noe i've still got SO MUCH that's left undone.. argh.. i realli hate that feeling.. it can kill me sometimes.. sigh.. but well.. i noe i can depend on God to get through this tough period.. so i'll remind myself to say a little prayer.. "Lord.. give me strength, wisdom and courage to go through this period.. i know that all things are possible with you.. I do not expect myself to get all As la.. but i just hope to see some improvement from my previos results! (: i'm sure i can! a little at least! for MATHS la.. can la.. (:(: thank you Lord.. oh ya.. n i hope i pass Chem too! (: heess. thank you Lord.." yeap yeap.. indeed all things are possible with my almight God!! (: amen! (: hehehe.. yeah.. i'm going off now to study organic chem.. actualli it shouldn't b a topic that should b done now.. but well.. i dun have a choice la.. yeah.. Lord.. grant me the focus and discipline.. thank you! and all u out there mugging for important exams.. JIA YOU!! (: i'm sure we can all get through this period.. it's gonna b over soon!! oh yeah! (: take care all of u and God bless! (: huggies!! muacks muacks!!
I needed Jesus @ | 11:58:00 PM
*.* three days left.. :( *.*
wahhh.. i'm left with three days.. no more le.. sigh.. i'm gonna die la.. sian.. yadayadayada.. :(:( sigh.. well well let's talk about some happier stuffs tonight(:(: yeap.. today.. i did study(:(: i finished up with differentiation.. n starting on curve sketching.. finishing up with curve sketching tonight i guess(:(: hahaha.. but chem.. din do chem:(:( argh.. yeap.. tomolo i guess.. yeah.. haha.. aniwae.. woke up pretty late today.. geck came to my place at bout 2 to study.. yeap.. her house under renovation ma.. so noisy.. so i told her if she needs a place to sleep or study she can come to my place lo.. yeap.. then we studied lo.. haha.. yeah.. haha.. ate lunch at bout 3.. haha.. yeap.. then continued studying.. yeap..haha.. yeah.. then ya.. study.. haha.. study.. and study.. haha.. THEN!! that girl decided to eat ice cream! aiyoyo.. tempt me.. ahaha.. silly girl.. hahaha.. yeah.. so we did some work then went down to SPC to see wat we could buy.. hahaha.. (: *greedy pigs we are* haha.. yeap... spent quite some time at SPC.. haha.. looking around to see wat we feel like eating.. haha.. in the end we bought this jap thing.. pizza stick.. hahaha.. not bad la.. haha.. yeah.. and we bought moo moo ice cream.. haha.. CUTE! n nice too! (: hahaha.. yeah.. n it was back to work.. oh we were both quite full.. but my daddy wanted to wash up the dinner plates and stuff.. so i had to eat dinner.. n finish quite alot of potato.. tsk.. haha.. yeah.. so i was even MORE bloated.. yeah.. tehn i had to walk around before i could sit down n study.. cos i was realli freaking bloated.. hahaha.. yadayadayada.. hahaha.. yeap.. studied till bout 840.. then we came out to the living room to catch the Singapore Idol results.. paul twohill gone! YES! (that's so mean) but i rather him than jonathan out.. haha.. yeap.. next week.. i hope jonathan and hady will remain.. who goes.. haha.. quite obvious le.. yeah yeah yeah.. watched the 9 o'clock show.. haha.. geck was still at my place.. hahaha.. yeah.. then send her to the bus stop after the show ended.. oh ya.. we watched the talking cock in parliament thing also.. ahaha hehehe.. oops.. yeah.. but we had a good laugh.. yeap.. brother says that i will b less ignorant reading mr brown's blog.. haha.. but even if i visit n listen to the podcasts and dun understand.. got use meh? hahaha yawns.. aniwae.. life is getting so boring.. so routined.. sigh.. wat am i supposed to say? sigh.. wat a life to lead.. sigh.. study study n nothing more but study.. sleep and eat is the onli things i do other than studying i guess.. going online.. yeah.. nothing much le.. i need some outdoor activities after my A's man!! haha.. n i guess.. i'm going back to wat i used to do in sec school.. drill.. yeah.. i'll fill u in after the A's.. haha.. for now.. i shall go watch my bleach!! hahaha(: byebye
I needed Jesus @ | 12:22:00 AM
Thursday, September 07, 2006
*.* 4 days left.. *.*
well how much time have i left.. 4 days.. not much time i would say.. oh well.. i'll just do wat i can.. realli tired le.. very very tired.. i've never felt so drained before.. never in my life.. well.. i dunno.. i guess.. can't blame anione la.. it's my fault.. it's all my fault.. sigh.. well yeah.. my fault cos i give in to temptation easily.. i'm a weakling.. i'm lousy.. i.. i.. i dunno.. i hate myself for everything.. things seem to b so out of place.. it's all my fault ok.. my fault.. argh.. this sounds so depressing.. but i guess.. that's wat i'm feeling now.. being ever so emotional.. i guess this is not something surprising la.. i let my feelings rule my head.. i have very little control over my emotions.. well.. i noe i should learn to.. yeah.. i'm learning.. but i'm a slow learner.. pardon me.. today.. started off pretty badly.. sigh.. i dunno wat to say.. i noe i haven been helping out much at home.. well.. take it that i'm lazy la.. i dunno.. but well.. this morning.. woke up at bout 11. just when geck called n asked if i was gonna join them to study at macs.. yeah.. n so.. i got up and washed up.. my mum went out for a while.. i had breakfast then started to study a little first.. mummy came home.. then she wasn't happy that i keep asking to go out to study.. sigh.. i guess she wouldn't understand the meaning of can't study at home cos there's so much distractions thing.. there's my bed.. the com.. the telephone.. well.. she say until like then.. then i din dare to leave the house.. so i continued to sit at my study desk.. then she was like scolding my brother and stuff.. n the noise was unbearable.. i guess.. it showed through my actions and facial expressions.. well.. then she said "u not happy u go outside n study la".. she was babbling on n on.. well.. that was it.. i packed my stuff.. walked out of the house.. with tears in my eyes.. well.. i dunno why.. but.. yeah.. so i joined them at macs lo.. n i realised i forgot to bring my jacket.. well.. so i was freezing quite bad in the air con.. yeah.. then halfway through studying.. some customer complained that there isn't enough space in macs cos there was alot of ppl studying in macs.. yeah.. so we packed up.. then we wanted to eat.. so we da bao lo.. haha.. yeah.. then we were playing with the membership machine thinggy.. hahaha.. so funny la.. tsk.. lols.. yeah.. aniwae.. after we da bao.. we went outside.. then outside got seat.. so we sat outside in the end.. (: it wasn't as warm as we expected.. hahaha... yeah.. studied till bout 10.. geck n yiling left first at bout 830.. yeah.. so tired.. yeah.. feeling so drained.. yeah.. so.. i guess.. i dun have much of an energy to continue studying now.. haha.. mayb i'll do some maths later.. haha.. yeah.. did bout 4 parts of differentiation today.. and two chpts of organic chem.. yeah.. pretty productive i would say.. yeap.. watever it is.. i'm hoping i can study out everyday.. but it's impossible.. i can't.. sigh.. i dunno wat i can do then.. sigh.. just try to stay out of temptation lo.. yeah.. God.. forgive me.. i'm sorry.. i'm a sinner..
I needed Jesus @ | 12:19:00 AM
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
*.* day nine of mugging.. (almost breaking down) *.*
argh.. i'm losing all the motivation i used to have.. all the "i'm gonna study and improve my results" spirit.. sian.. :(:( argh.. everytime i'm at home.. i just can't sit still to study.. i'll either b using the com.. or i'll b walking around the house.. looking for things to eat.. or just simply.. walk around.. :(:(:( i need to get out of the house.. :(:( but i can't.. all thanks to my siblings.. :( not that i wana blame them la.. argh.. but as long as they're at home.. i can't go out.. means i can't study out.. AHHH!! there's no one to blame but myself la ok.. shit.. this is a very bad feeling.. i feel like giving up already.. n i'm not even halfway through the crazy battle.. i haven't even pass the "training" stage.. the actual battle.. i've yet to even step into it.. n i'm saying that i feel like giving up.. wats this?? i dunno.. wat can i do? aniwae.. i was just looking at a fren's blog today.. and saw something about God.. she once believed.. but not animore.. but she did mention that.. she did not totally lose faith ba.. so i tot.. this would b a good chance for me to invite her to church.. yeah.. i hope she'll come.. n i also hope that.. i myself.. will b able to step into church.. not sneakily.. not through some white lies.. but with the blessings of my mum..i noe this day will come.. Lord.. i need to feel ur presence.. cos i'm realli losing hold myself.. i dunno how long i can hang in there alone.. i dunno.. i realli dun.. this is not too much for me i noe.. but.. it isn't turning out the way it should Father.. i'm tired.. exhausted.. i can't focus.. i can't.. i realli can't..
I needed Jesus @ | 12:23:00 AM
Monday, September 04, 2006
*.* day eight of mugging.. (i din mug at all) *.*
sighh.. see the decreasing motivation.. the lesser and lesser revision that is done.. :(:(:( sigh.. well well.. onli have myself to blame la.. temptation.. sweedy falls into the hands of temptation easily in many things.. i do have some control over myself sometimes.. but.. sigh.. Lord.. HOW??? :(:( i dunno wat i can do to stop myself from falling into temptation.. me n my desires.. tsk tsk.. :(:( morning.. supposed to go out to study till bout 2+ then i gotta b home cos my mum needs to go to work.. i gotta b at home to take care of my siblings.. wat trouble huh.. sigh.. i dun have a choice lo.. :(:( sighh.. in the morning.. i woke up at 830 actualli.. :(:( but i was so tired.. so i decided to wake up later.. i woke up again at 930.. and decided that i shall stay at home la.. no point studying for a while then come home.. yeah.. in the end.. i woke up at 1145.. sighh.. yeah.. woke up.. had brealfast.. hmm.. then my siblings were playing the com.. yeah.. watched them play since i couldn't use the table to study.. yeah.. ended up.. played with them.. sian.. thene whole day.. onli did two trigo questions.. :(:( argh.. i'm so freaking irritated with myself.. sian.. n i just got irritated with some pple's attitude.. like wat the hell.. sian.. u dun wan then dun wan la.. say until like that.. forget it.. i shall go do some work.. can't b bothered to argue with such pple.. aniwae.. steve irwin died.. and of all death causes.. he died in a way that's pretty rare.. this stingray pierced right through his heart.. :( sighh.. i tink he's such a courageous man.. if not for him.. i tink.. without him n his courage.. we wouldn't have got to see many many things about animals.. :(:( yeah.. but since he died doing something that he liked.. i tink he should have died in peace.. yeah.. i'll miss his shows.. and his courage.. i'll miss him..
I needed Jesus @ | 10:29:00 PM
Sunday, September 03, 2006
*.* day six of 'mugging'.. slack.. *.*
| You Are Spring! |
Hopeful
Playful
Sweet
Fresh
Airy |
that's me(:
| You Are a Light Pink Rose |
You represent sweetness and grace.
Your vibe: Kind and gentle
Falling in love with you: is like falling in love with a best friend |
me again
| You are a Great Girlfriend |
When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful
But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself
You're the perfect blend of independent and caring
You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too! |
true or not?? i dunno.. wait till i get a bf! wahaha(:
well u can see how bored i am online.. that i've resorted to taking these stupid tests.. oops.. hahaa.. yeah.. waiting for my bleach 91 to finish dling but it's taking forever:(:( yeah.. aniwae.. let me talk about today ba.. saturday.. woke up at 1115? haha yeah.. then had prata for breakfast.. then swept the floor n stuff.. then TRIED to study.. but nothing seems to get in:(:( sigh.. so sianed.. sigh.. so i din study.. picked up my guitar and played a few chords that could make a song.. my guitar skills detioriating:( :( sighh.. yeah.. :(:( sad..
aniwae.. i slacked my day lo.. then went to write some postcards for my church frens.. yeah.. haha.. since i was gonna meet them later ma.. so i decided to write cards to pass time lo.. hahaha.. yeah.. went to bathe after i wrote the cards.. yeap.. waited for my dad to come home.. then i left for church.. i forgot my postcards!! left them at home.. so i had to go back to get it.. :( argh.. haha.. yeah.. got to church at bout 615..
went for service(: feels good(: haha.. yeah.. felt refreshed too(: yeap.. then ah.. tsk for altar call huh.. i was being FORCED by like 3 pple to go up one lo.. aiyoyo.. where got like that one.. in the end.. i went up lo.. not onli because they forced me la.. yeah.. but i felt that it would b good to b prayed for.. yeah.. (: haha..
yeap.. haha.. after service.. me ethel n joan were high le.. we were talking rubbish n going crazy.. hahaha. but i like it! wahah.. (that sounds perverted..) lols.. yeah.. we were singing rubbish.. jumping away.. playing with bryan's poky hair.. hahaha.. yeah.. all the crazy things u can tink of.. haha.. then went for dinner with the youths.. haha.. yeah.. ate long john cos nothing was appealing at the food court.. most stalls closed le.. haha.. yeap..
i had to leave first.. yeah.. so i left right after i've eaten.. yea.. haha.. yeap yeap.. so here i am at home now.. yeah.. wasted a whole day like that.. (other than going to church).. yeah.. tomolo.. must mug le lo.. but i doubt i can finish anithing much la.. just do my best le.. yeap.. hahaha.. yeah yeah.. i realli am glad that i went for service today.. hopefully i can go more often.. God.. soften my mum's heart.. and i pray that she, too, will accept u as her saviour.. as her Father(:(:
I needed Jesus @ | 12:43:00 AM
Friday, September 01, 2006
*.* day five of mugging.. *.*
aww man.. sigh.. 5 days.. gone in a flash.. n yet.. i tried to do wat i can.. but still pretty stagnant.. WAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?? Lord!! i'm tired.. realli.. :(:( i try my best.. i do wat i can.. but there's realli no time at all.. how come it just comes so easily to others. and yet.. some things.. takes me million of years to understand and to get done.. sigh.. wat am i supposed to do?? :(:(:( i wana die le.. :( i can't take all these crap animore!! :( arghwat a life i would say.. sigh.. how nice if i could runaway from here.. go to somewhere with a nice nightsky.. and a nice beach.. i will just lie on the sand.. and look up into the sky.. enjoy the cool sea breeze.. watch they beautiful night sky.. lit up by stars.. twinkling.. shining bright.. oh man.. i'm daydreaming.. it'll nv happen.. never ever.. :( sigh.. wat can i say? nothing.. can't do anithing either.. oh well.. i'll just keep dreaming about it then.. life.. i dunno wat is life.. i have no idea wat it is.. i have no idea wat i'm supposed to expect from it.. i have no idea wat i have to do with it.. i'm just living everyday.. ignorant.. unknown to pple.. taking it for granted that i'm still alive and kicking.. i dunno.. WAT IS LIFE? how am i supposed to live life in the correct way? hmm.. that was just a random tot.. i dunno.. wat on earth am i doing in this place.. i guess.. the onli one who can answer me.. is the one who created me.. for onli the creator knows the purpose of the creation.. well.. Lord.. lead me.. find this lost sheep.. guide this sheep onto the right path.. calm her down.. talk to her.. comfort her.. keep her warm n snuggled in ur embrace.. she needs the love and warmth.. she yearns for more of u..
I needed Jesus @ | 7:00:00 PM
*.* hmm.. wats this! i'm 18!! haha(: *.*
| You Are 16 Years Old |
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
lalala.. haha.. feeling bored so i did this.. lols.. hohohoh.. I needed Jesus @ | 5:50:00 PM
*.* day four of mugging.. *.*
bleah... well well.. i'm so not in the mood to mug animore.. i'm so tired.. drained.. but well i jsut have to hang in there and slog on.. i dun have a choice.. i wished i had.. i would definitely choose not to lo.. but well.. sigh.. wat can i sae? in Singapore.. if i choose not to.. i can just sit n wait to die.. n my whole family will probably die with me.. well.. aniwae.. woke up late today.. supposed to get up at 830.. my hp alarm went off.. but i switched it off.. n went back to sleep.. was realli tired.. plus the weather was freaking good la.. how can anione expect me to get out of bed?? :( sigh.. a weather to snuggle under my warm blanket n have a nice rest.. oh.. how wonderful.. wat a luxury.. well mummy woke me up at 930 aniwae.. yeah so i changed into my school u n left house.. i wasn't heading for school though.. yeah.. din tell mummy that it's study break.. onli told her that there's not lesson.. n i go to school to study cos i can't study at home.. but i din tell her that i will go to macs sometimes to study also.. so had to look like i was going to school lo.. yeah.. sorry mummy.. i just dun want to study at home cos i noe i'll waste my day away.. yeap.. aniwae.. today.. ain't that productive too.. did chem n maths.. sigh.. i realli dun tink.. n i now.. i definitely can't finish for sure.. oh well.. sigh.. the onli thing i can do.. just try to do wat i can ba.. n the thing i can comfort myself with.. this is onli prelims ya? the final hurdle is A's.. long term goal.. ahaha.. do well for A's.. haha.. well well.. yeah.. sigh.. aniwae.. this saturday's the first saturday@7 service.. (: i hope i can go.. n i hope i can bring someone along.. well.. so far.. no one has agreed to go:( sigh.. sad.. but i'm sure God will soften pple's heart that they'll b open to Him.. it's just a matter of time.. i'll keep praying!! i'm sure God will do His work! (: and i'll make sure i do wat God wants me to do.. (: yeah.. i'll do my best.. yeap.. tired.. sleepy.. stressed.. scared.. fearful.. worried.. sad.. weak.. listless.. restless.. lost all hope.. giving up.. :(
I needed Jesus @ | 12:15:00 AM
me and my jie(: 
me with kiddies! (: (i know they all love me!) hees
one of my fave.. faith.. she supposed to look like the younger me.. haha..
samantha! (: she looks like 蜡笔小新 (: haha
faith and charis' maid.. hope i get a maid like her next time.. (:
another of my favourite.. (: eunice(:
one more favourite! (: charis(: hees..
eunice
faith
charis
charis chose this background on her own.. i guess she's gonna make alot of money next time! (:
me and mummy wanteng!
jia mei ricky and me!
me and lao ba(zhen liang) (:
WE'RE TRANSPARENT!! :(
there.. HOW GROSS!! :( see the dark bloody area? that's the blood clot stuff:( and the white part the ulcer:(:( SOB SOB SOB! :(
meow meow~ meh meh~ my baby cookies(:
stars in rainbow! (: roc candies(: thanks pj(:
nougat from mr pj too(:
moo moo~ these candies din taste that good.. but i still ate them
SOUR!! helps to keep me awake!
hello panda(: MILK! wanted to give to geck but din meet her so i ate them.. sorry! :(
my fave chips! (: 
ferrero from my fave canteen drink stall uncle(: (and auntie) haha(: