*.* back to blogging.. *.*
hehehe i got a new phone! so that explains wat u're gonn see at the end of the post. hehhehe. aniwae. haha i haven been disciplined in doing alot of things wo. and blogging is one of them ba. but well. not many pple reads my blog. so i shouldn't tink it affects many pple. it's just my less private online diary. yeah well. but aniwae. there's nothing much about my life now. i'm just always tired from work and tuition and work and tuition. that's my life in summary. yeah. i miss my frens. ): oh did i mention that drill com's over? (: yeah. finally. but i'll miss my girls too! ): but hey girls! u did a great job! (: aren't we the onli company that gold for both the pioneer and senior contingent! (: PRAISE THE LORD! (: i'm proud of u! (: but please practise up ur creative drill for enrolment this sat hor. hahaha. but i'm sure u all can do it! (:
yeap. i'm not in much of a mood to blog. but aniwae i went out for dinner with my ESS colleagues today(: had loads of fun. (: thanks guys. i'm sure i'm missing all of u. no more pple to talk to now. i'm always alone in e office. ): staring at the computer screen, looking for the most impossible information sometimes. oh well. that's a new challenge i guess. a new experience. yeap yeap. right now. i realli wish to have as much time as possible. to spend with people around me. sigh. missing those free days that we could meet up whenever we want to. do the silliest things ever. how i miss those days. ): but well. everyone's busy with their own stuff now. work. family. boyriends. girlfriends. other activities. sometimes. i dunno. i dun even noe wats my status to them. but i guess. life has to go on. hey my dear friends. i'm here if anione needs a listening ear. although i am pretty busy with work and stuff. but a call or sms is fine(: i'll listen as long as i can. yeap.
tink i shall end of here. goodbye.
OUT FOR DINNER! and HOME WE GO!
me and twinnie!(:
hairless lucky!! ha(:
that's my cutie darling. but a naughty boy! ):
ryan rachel and benette!(:
this ish gorgor's birthday present. hees(:
gor gor debra and me!(:
twinnies unite! (:
twinnies again! (: check out our faces!=P
are we that bored! ):
NO! we're SAD):
pretty artistic hur? (:
wenjie weisong debra sweedy! *wenjie GET UR HANDS OFF MY TWINNIE!*
wenjie's STUCK in e toilet! so we're taking pics again! hahaha!
coo pic hur! (: haha on our way to e esplanade..
CAN U SEE US? hah at e esplanade! me and twinnie!(:
another attempt to be artistic
first attempt of group pic. *move nearer guys!*
second attempt. not bad. BUT! *weisong!!!!!!!!!!!*
and FINALLY!(: i miss ESS...
I needed Jesus @ | 11:53:00 PM
*.* i'm sorry *.*
well well. been some time since i last penned my thoughts. humm. kinda forced, or rather triggered to blog. sigh. well i should be feeling happy. in fact, i was happy for a moment. until something struck me real hard. seriously hard. and i was shifted into a depressive mood. i guess. i tink too much. expect too much. give too little. well. the story goes like this. i'm sure many will think i'm being irritating. asking too much. therefore that explains the tittle of this post. it's addressed to the two of you. and i really sincerely hope. u two will really be happy forever! and i wana be at the table with ur best frens at ur wedding. i hope. i realli do.
well one's my bestie, one's my buddy. at least i consider them my bestie and buddy. and suddenly, out of the blue, i'm told they are together. i'm shocked. and at first, i was so happy for them. i was like WOOHOO! my matchmaking did come true. but. after a while. i started to tink. wat do i mean to them? how come no one told me about anithing until they got together? where's the part where i'm supposed to be teasing them that they like each other without the other party knowing that it's mutual. i dunno. i just felt like an idiot in that window. not knowing anithing and suddenly thrown a fact that i'm supposed to accept immediately. i mean, they probably onli got to noe each other at the start of the year. and poof. suddenly thier attached. to each other. and i dun even noe if they went out together or wat nought. i mean. i dunno.
the next thing that came to my mind. one's my bestie. one's my buddy. pple whom i always hang out with. wat happens now? they will need time on their own. now now now. wat am i supposed to do? i doubt i'll have much time with them. i can't exactly ask the guy out for fun because i might cause misunderstandings. the girl's side ain't that bad. but still. i dun already have very much time to spend with them. with this coming, ain't things gonna be worse? oh well.
all the above are just plain selfish thoughts i guess. and well. stupid selfish thoughts that cost me my sleep. and tears. i dunno. after i went offline. somehow. these thoughts just haunted me like nobody's business. i just couldn't help but cry. i'm sorry my dear friends. i sincerely wish u two happiness. and u know wat? i'll be ur fren till the end of time. unless, i've done the wrong thing this time that is gonna deter u pple from me. once again. i'm sorry. and know that. i love u two(: ehh not in that sense ah. u know wat i'm talking about lar. i just hope things dun change so much. and yeah. anithing, feel free to come to me cos u're still me bestie and u're still my buddy. and i'm realli honoured to be the first to know about this. congrats to u two. (: buddy, dun bully my bestie if not i'll never ever forgive u. bestie, dun forget about me k. ha and if he bullies you, tell me. i'll step on his white shoes! but u also dun go and bully him ok!(:
I needed Jesus @ | 10:22:00 AM
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
*.* over the days *.*
hmmm been some time since i last blogged about wat happened in the past few days. ha nothing much actualli. can't realli remember wat i did. hmm let's do some backlogging.. erm monday to thursday.. i seriously can't remember wat i did. i guess it's just been work and tuition and Bible study.. nothing much lo. the usual things that i do.. wat a mundane life. sigh. yeah.. friday.. abit more special lar. not the usual things i do. haha let's see.. hmm went to work.. then took half day leave and went to tutor rachel in the afternoon.. yeah.. then went down to ricky's office.. met his boss le. and i'm confirmed wanted. ha so i've got my new job and will report to work next friday. ): yeah. good and bad ba. good cos i dun have to talk to irritating (i just got scolded for being useless. ):): ) but i'm so gonna miss all my colleagues..
my dear twinnie: ):): CAN'T WORK WITH U ANIMORE! ):
gracie: gonna miss those "travelling to work on the train together" times..
wenjie: NO MORE pple to disturb le):
wei song: hmm u lose ur partner! haha
ting en: hmm ur secret admirer is gone! muahaha
sigh. i'm gonna miss all of u man): sigh sigh sigh but at the same time i'm looking forward to a new job. new things to be learnt. and i'm also gonna get to work with ricky! yeah! (: onli for one day though. ha but it'll definitely be fun man!(: hees yeap yeap RICKY ONG! dun forget to come and find me for lunch hor! tsk! haha (: IF NOT! ... ... ... ...
yeah then saturday was drill and NUS open house and church. gor gor brought me, geck and sinyee around in NUS.. had fun(: yeah we went to gor gor's office too. yeah yeah. ha. made up my mind about NUS but the thing that matters now is whether they will actually accept me lo. yeah. kinda worried. but i'll leave it to God's plans ba. i can't do anithing le ba. yeah. church was fine. so was dinner. yeah nothing much ba.
sunday. went to grandma's place. played with my darling lucky. yeah and brought him home(: haiyo talking about bringinglucky back home. haha stupid dog. when we were going to sleep, we leashed him in the kitchen. but he started barking. so i brought him out to the living room and leashed him to the sofa. and he continued to bark. and WHINE. aiyo cannot stand it when pple, i mean, dogs whine. hahaha so in the end, i let him free. and he happily slept under my bed. and that was already like 2+ am. and throughout the night i din sleep well cos i was afraid he would anihow pee. tsk terrible. ha and in the end. i woke up super tired and still had to clear the mess he made in the living room. argh. washed up and took lucky out for a morning walk. yeah and rushed off to work in the morning le.
then work and tuition and home. had to take lucky out for a walk once again when i went home. yeah. was quite tired le. ha then washed up, went online for a while and knocked out in no time. ha lucky. once again. happily slept under my bed. ha
tuesday. hmmm same thing lar. just that after tuition, went to eunos to meet ricky for dinner. muahahaha and for SOME reasons, he paid for my dinner. ha eh next time please dun order seafood watever lar. haha NO POINT! lols yeap yeap then took 25 back.. and walked lucky again.. and the whole sequence goes one.. lalala no change. haha MUNDANE ain't it?
now i'm sitting here in the office during the peak period. getting calls from irritated employers who decides to do their submissions at the last minute and blame us for the lousy systems and inadequate knowledge. wat the. feel like killing this kinda pple.TSK! haha but i wun lar. despite getting scolded for being useless and of not much help. well there's nothing i can do when i'm not trained in such info. wat u wan me to do? stupid!
rar tired of typing le lar. concentrate on work. yeah bye bye
I needed Jesus @ | 10:24:00 AM
*.* darn you *.*
this is gonna be a horrible post. i'm damn pissed. wats the freaking matter with u. i'm feeling vulgar. darn. i shan't use such words here. darn. i'm working so hard. i'm saving up for my uni. i've got my job. i've got my tuition. and now u're saying that i'm going out everyday till late. and going out with a boyfriend and stuff. wat do you take me for! darn u do i look like a prostitute to u? darn u. DARN YOU! u noe how tiring this? i dun tink you do lar. continue complaining. i can't be bothered about you. u have ur religion. i have mine. u go ahead and say all u wan. kill me. disown me. up to u lar. i can't be bothered animore. i hate you. i realli do. just shut ur gap up. you hate me so much right? u tink i deserve to be tortured right? go ahead lar. curse and swear that this daughter of urs die soon lar. i can't wait to leave this place. i realli can't.
darn you. u wan me to do things. SAY IT OUT. dun always expect me to know wat the hell u wan me to do when u haven even informed me about it. F. i am realli freaking pissed.why on earth am i put through such things. why am i put through such torture? darn pissed. and u wan me to look after my siblings. hello. how old are they? they are freaking old already and u still wan people to look after them. can't u just give them some space and learn to be independent? F u. darn. and u end up blaming me for everything. yeah u hate me. u just said that. go ahead. i dun need you to love me. i have myself. that's more than enough.
i'm tired. i really very tired. my body is going to break down realli soon i guess. if i continue like that. but do i have a choice? no i dun. i'll have to continue. i'll just have less time for everyone around me. pardon me everyone. if u tink i've been spending realli little time with u. i'm sorry. i'm put in a position where i dun haf a choice. yeah. if u tink i'm not worth to be a fren then so be it lar. i wun stop u. i wun blame you. but noe that i cherish my friendships more than anithing and if i had the time. i would wan to spend with u all. i realli would. yeah. so yeah. ok i'm in a depressed mood. i realli am. just stay off me whoever u are. cos u ain't gonna have a sweedy that's very nice to talk to. u'll probably gonna end up getting urself pissed like nobody's business. darn. sorry for this realli horrible post.
I needed Jesus @ | 11:38:00 PM
*.* aftermath *.*
hmm life has to go back to normal after everything.. and i should tink everything did return to normal ba.. at least on the outside.. still trying to calm the roaring sea inside.. it's not onli because of the results ba.. actualli the result's playing quite a small part.. but more of.. other things that are happening ba.. more in human relations.. oh well.. i'm trying to do wat i can but i dunno if it helps.. well.. just do wat i can ba.. i'm not a perfect human so i guess.. i can nv please everyone ba..
aniwae.. yesterday was a tiring day as usual.. had drill in the morning.. brought the girls out to sun.. haha and i got myself sunned too.. darn.. was BLACK.. ahaha.. met ricky for lunch.. wah the first thing he saw me.. say i almost indian.. BAD LEH! hmph! sigh but true lar.. i am getting blacker! ): sobs.. haiz aniwae.. after lunch we found somewhere to sit down and chat.. yeah.. had a good chat.. but my mum cut in and spoiled my mood a little.. wah she just had to rub in on my bad results.. wat the.. i just kept quiet lar.. was quite irritated.. almost teared again.. but din lar.. if not i tink i'll scare jie mei.. haha.. yupp then went back to school to oversee the drill test.. the girls were doing fine ba.. yea..
after that went down to singpost to meet gor gor.. then we went to furry pets together to see my dear lucky(: yeapp yeapp he was a quiet doggie sitting in the cage.. love him man(: haha then left the pet shop. went to church.. yeah fellowship was fine.. with some last minute stuff.. ha. but yeah.. service was good.. yeap i tink the speaker realli exposed the ugly-ness of many Christians.. wanting to be comfortable as a Christian and forget the main purpose God has for us.. being so comfortable that.. we actualli forget the fact that hey.. God is coming back one day.. and that one day is realli soon.. it is time to step out of our comfort zone and work for the Lord.. yeah
sunday.. woke up late! haha i was supposed to meet geck ricky and kaisheng for bball in the morning! haha and i tot i was on time.. i realised.. the alarm din ring at all cos the i set it to ring on mon-fri.. darn it.. so it din ring at all lar.. haha.. so i jumped out of bed and daddy was just going out.. so i washed up and everything.. and asked daddy to fetch me there lo.. yeap got there pretty fast.. the whole thing was fun lar.. if onli gecky darling could stay on longer.. haha.. yeap but had alot of fun! and i threw my first three point throw today! (: muahaha! (: used ALL the strength that i had ok.. after SO LONG i finally got the stupid ball to go into the rim.. wah.. SHAGGED.. haha
in the afternoon.. went to pick lucky up(: he was so smelly.. haha.. haven bathed since a week ago i tink.. muahahaha(: aniwae.. yea.. bought the stuff needed and then headed for grandma's place.. (: he's sure active man.. lols... but he's pretty lovable.. he stuck to me the whole day.. awww.. then bathed him.. combed his fur.. played with him.. fed him.. and when i left my grandma's place.. he was whining.. ): ): so sad.. haiz.. i'll be back next week lucky! (:
yeap.. now i'm home le.. super shagged.. and muscles are aching le.. ha. tink i'll die tomolo.. lols.. and gotta work.. ): sianz.. God bless.. goodnights
I needed Jesus @ | 9:43:00 PM
*.* just wanted to be me. i'm sorry. *.*
aniwae.. today's a nightmare.. sigh.. well the results of the A levels examination was finally released.. well.. i din do very well ba.. yeah.. so once i got my result slip.. i walked out of the hall.. went to the general office to collect my PW cert and left immediately.. poor gor gor had to survive with me without saying a word.. following where i went without knowing where i was going.. my mind was blank.. totally.. i just stared out of the window throughout the whole bus journey without uttering a word.. i'm sorry brother.. that's me.. that's me when i'm down.. i guess.. i have to keep this side in future.. i dun tink anione will ever get to see it animore..
yeap.. went home to put down the stuff after collecting results.. then went to sec sch for enrolment rehearsal.. yeah.. had to put on my brave front.. oh well.. can't expect me to look sad in front of so many girls ba.. yeah.. then went back to kovan to find gor gor and ethel after drill.. kept very quiet.. and tearing most of the time.. yeah.. and i guess.. i irritated and scared them.. and wasted alot of their time too.. i'm sorry..
aniwae.. went to paya lebar for dinner.. started to talk le.. yeah.. and then after that.. headed to S-11 to meet geck and ricky.. the first thing they saw me.. geck asked me why i cry.. eyes so red.. haha.. tsk.. well i'm fine le lar..
i guess.. in this kind of situation.. the person who is closest to you and happens to be with you at the earlier part after something not very good happens.. gets to experience the more real you.. as in your real freelings and how you react to the situation.. yeah.. and some might be able to handle you.. some might not.. well.. but i wana thank everyone who was by my side today.. yeah.. ethel.. debra.. jimmy.. thanks for ur company.. (: thanks for the encouraging words.. ricky.. geck ying.. thanks for ur calls.. and also.. thanks for company! (: must meet up more often! we're the HOUGANG gang! muahaha! (: last but not least.. my gor gor.. thanks for tolerating with me.. tink u got the most horrible experience with me today.. i'm sorry.. i tink it'll nv happen again ba.. yeah.. and it's time for me to sleep.. goodnights..
I needed Jesus @ | 1:05:00 AM
*.* very tired *.*
sigh everday i'm complaining that i'm tired.. but it's either i'm too busy to sleep earli.. or i'll try to lie on the bed.. roll all directions and i'm still wide awake tinking about so many things): sigh.. wat a life.. there's realli so much so much that's running through my mind now.. people.. things.. situations.. so much.. choices.. decisions.. haiz.. worries.. so much to worry about as well ): fear.. there's so much fear.. fear of failure.. fear of getting into trouble.. fear of everything.. i dunno.. sigh.. i'm going to break down soon lar.. darn..
haha sounds depressive.. but i'm not lar.. i'm still that happy chirpy sweedy.. muahaha yeah so concerned friends.. dun worry about me kay.. yeapp.. sorry.. haha.. some happy things to blog about.. let's see.. aniwae i'm hungry.. hahaha.. in office now.. haha..
aniwae.. let's see wat i was doing on monday.. hmmm.. monday.. work.. work and work in the day.. did i mention i went jogging on sunday? yes i did! so i was suffering from muscle ache! muahaha lousy right.. lols aniwae.. monday was tuition day with amos.. things were fine lar.. yeap.. then i needed to get present for a colleague.. but by the time i ended tuition, most shops would have been closed. thank God my dear jie mei offered to help! (:(: thanks so much!! (: yeah so after tuition i went down to kovan to meet him to collect the stuff(: haha had french toast at hong kong cafe! muahaha yeap yeap. then went home le lo.. very tired..
haha tuesday.. a pretty lonely day.. haha.. after work.. went for tuition with xiao xuan and went straight home le.. yeah.. nothing realli special ba.. yesterday.. hmm wat did i do? ermm yesterday.. oh after work had BS.. haha.. yesterday's lunch.. was slightly different cos i went with debra grace ting en and jaron.. haha.. a different group of pple so a different experience.. haha.. but had fun lar.. but jaron smokes.. so when we were walking back, he was walking in front and smoking.. and i almost died cos i was standing behind him.. hahaha.. lols yeah.. then BS was alright lar.. learnt how to use this particular exercise to do some evangelism.. (: yeap yeap.. learnt alot from it.. (: haha
yeah.. and now.. all i can say is.. i've got butterflies in my tummy.. i know a reason why but i'm sure that reason is not enough to put so many butterflies in my tummy.. i'll figure the other reasons out.. but meanwhile.. i can't wait to meet my gecky darling! (: ha fun fun and fun! and yes girl I LOVE MY GECKO! (: muahahaha(:
shall sign off here.. goodbye.
I needed Jesus @ | 10:23:00 AM
