something pastor kian cheng mentioned today kinda struck me, and made me feel normal. "when u love someone, you desire to spend time with the person, and when spending time with the person, time seems to fly".. something along that line.

i'm a people person, i need people around me. but sometimes, i really dun understand why i really hope people i like will spend most of their time with me. i tot i was over possessive or something. but i guess, the above sentence explains it all. it's because i love them, the people i love, i'd like to have more of their time, hoping they'll love me too. but i guess, sometimes, it's just too much to ask for from them. i dunno. probably, i'll take a step back. retreating may be a better choice.

participated in the performance at church today. a skit. song titled "stain glass masquerade". interesting song. the skit, meaningful one too i feel. i guess i'm like that. faced too much rejections in life that i've learnt to pick up some masks to fit the crowd. the mask of humor, of craziness that takes away all the ugly sides i used to have. sometimes, people really can't accept me ba. even now.

i only wished to be able to have u by my side as much as possible. but u dun seem to agree with this. i guess, we are different ba. it's okay. u're still my friend. but it'll never be the same again i suppose. i'll be strong. may God bless me.

Lord, i want to love you more. i want your presence more in my life. help me Lord.