I need you..

Saturday, December 30, 2006

*.* Budak Pantai concert Dec 06(: *.*

that's dinner for me geck ethel and gor gor(:(: DOUGHNUTS! WONDERFUL! (:

thatt's where we had our dinner! (:

CUTESEY! (:

eeeww wats that! haha

can u see me? haha(:

BANG BANG!

ethel darling! (:

ethel sweedy and geck(:

wendy yu xian and huiyin(:

bryan tim elvin and sam.. hmm.. wats with their look! TSK!

nic ethel and geck

me and my darling(: haha

hmmm went for BP concert at the esplanade recital studio yesterday.. it was realli good(: yeap yeap.. my dear geck was with me too(: haha.. hope she enjoyed it.. Budak pantai is realli zai(: haha.. they nv nv fail to make me laugh.. and it's a laugh from the HEART(: yeap.. it's been a long time.. since my laughter came from within.. well.. yeah.. OH and and! the day before the day we went.. stef sun was at their concert!! RARRRR!! ):):): should have went then man!! rarr!! hahaha..

aniwae.. i just came home from service.. well.. went there with a heavy heart.. but i had to break out of that once i reached church.. shouldn't let my moods affect anione else.. yeap.. hung around with ethel.. then played around with jimmy and gor gor.. aha.. and SHA BAO! lols.. yeap yeap.. service was fine.. it spoke to me.. and went up for altar call.. hai.. pastor may eng prayed for me.. i cried once again.. humms.. well hope things will be better ba..

i'm gonna do nothing tomolo.. when others are busy with countdown parties at home or outside.. or prayer meetings.. sian.. well.. so be it ba.. i'll try to talk to God.. and i want to start the year right.. with God in my life.. in EVERY aspect.. and not selected ones.. i always tell God i want to involve Him.. but.. i haven't.. sigh.. Lord.. please help me and guide me.. yeap.. here's wishing everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR in advance(: loves!

I needed Jesus @ | 11:26:00 PM

*.* pictures *.*

Xiaoxuan's birthday cele(:

can u see who's looking in the camera? (:

we've got FOOD!(:

siow ching and su fang

cheeky ryan! (:

eating in the open(:

the kids with grace and huiying..

sunty ivy and e birthday girl(:

wendy and xiaoxuan

ryan su fang xiaoxuan and ben ben(:

me and bennette! (: cheeky boy! (:

xiao xuan and me(: do u see ryan?? (:

who's that extra one behind! BLEAH

jimmy and timothy GAY-ing

kids daddy and fe siong

the ladies and kids who were there(:

benette's masterpiece(: haha he's mummy(: yoke kin

HAPPY FAMILY! lols(:

uncle fe siong and benette(:

ben ben and me! (:

siao ching and xiao xuan(: (oh benette took this too haha)

I needed Jesus @ | 4:15:00 PM

*.* freedom.. i wan my freedom.. *.*

sigh.. look at me.. wat do u see? i dunno.. i feel restricted.. i dun have my freedom.. i dun have the right to choose wat i want.. i dun have the right to choose who i realli wan to hang out with.. all these.. i do without her consent still.. going to church.. she says even if i want to go.. it's not that she has accepted.. but she just can't be bothered about me animore.. she says.. go ahead.. i've lost a daughter that's been a pain to me.. wow.. how strong are these words.. fine.. i keep them to myself.. i tell anione else.. not many pple can understand aniwae.. i've been told.. she doesn't mean it.. well let me tell u.. she does.. cos she realli can't be bothered animore.. and.. she's cold.. nvm.. no point explaining..

i wished i could go for overnight prayer meeting.. she tells me.. go ahead.. and dun bother about coming home.. well.. it doesn't leave me with a choice u noe.. obviously i have to stay home.. not that i'm afraid that i can't come home.. i've got to give her the respect.. if not.. the whole world will come at me.. well..

i tell her i'm going out.. she isn't happy.. she expects me to stay home to look after my siblings all the time.. i tell her i'm coming home late.. she's not happy either.. oh well.. wat do u expect me to do? argh.. i dunno.. u wan me to stay at home all day? and become a couch potato or something?

i use the computer every night.. she ain't happy.. but when she needs my help with the com.. she says in a nice way.. well.. and then it's my turn to get irritated because she doesn't plan properly wat exactly she wans me to do.. she tells me to type this in and the next moment she wants it changed.. u noe how irritating this can get! then again.. you might not noe..

she says i've been spending too much.. well.. this i dun deny.. but at least i'm trying to get a job now.. and i NEVER ever asked for extra money.. i just take wat u give.. even if u dun give.. i dun ask for it.. and yet u are still unhappy.. well..

u nv asked me.. "how was school today? wat did u learn?".. u nv asked me how i felt.. u always try to force ur way through.. to make me do things ur way.. and when i dun.. u make a whole big fuss about it.. i look at the other kids.. they hold their mummy's hands like they hold their friend's.. i nv got to do that.. i nv dared to.. the others talk to thier mummy like they talk to their friends.. i nv dared.. i'm scared u'll scold me for being rude.. many things.. i nv dared to ask you.. because i noe u wouldn't allow me to.. wat has got into this relationship? i tink.. we're as good as strangers living in the same roof.. u dunno wat i like.. wat i dun.. i dunno about u either..

wat a life.. all i ask of u now.. please.. give me my freedom.. my freedom to hang around with who i want.. to believe in wat i want to.. and not to be conformed to the set of rules u've set.. i'm already a big girl.. and i can make my own decisions.. even if they are wrong decisions.. i'll learn to accept and learn from my mistakes.. please.. give me some space..

I needed Jesus @ | 3:55:00 PM

Friday, December 29, 2006

*.* happy birthday xiao xuan(: *.*

well well.. wanted to blog yesterday.. but i couldn't get to the site.. sian.. yeah.. today.. not realli in the mood to blog actualli.. but well.. since i've got the chance to.. better blog.. before the stie is down again.. aniwae.. there's nothing much to talk about today.. cos i'm feeling kinda down.. i dunno why.. tink when i have free time.. i tend to think too much.. so the moral of the story is to keep myself busy lar.. haha yeah.. aniwae.. got an interview at IDA tomolo.. yeap.. hope things will go well and me and debra can get the job.. yeap yeap..

yesterday.. went to two recruit agencies.. yeap.. hope i can get a job ba.. aniwae. yea.. after visiting the agencies.. went to city hall.. walked around while waiting for gor gor to arrive.. yeap.. then walked around to find a present for xiao xuan.. yeap bought Charlotte's Web book for her.. hope she likes it(: yeap.. then headed to bedok stadium.. xiao xuan, ryan, benette, their daddy(thiam joo), su fang, grace, fee xiong, jimmy, hui ying and tim ang.. yeap.. aunty ivy drove here.. and we took her car to somewhere near a playground.. i dunno where.. haha.. yeah.. and i had xiao xuan and benette sticking to me.. felt so loved(: aha.. yeah..

when we arrived at where we were, the kids led me and hui ying to the playground(: haha.. ran around and played with them.. had a lot of fun (: yeap yeap.. wendy came too(: haha.. and gor gor joined us at the playground.. had so much fun! (: lols.. yeap.. then it was time for food! (: haha.. we sat in the open.. on some mat.. and just ate.. aha.. i shared fried rice with ben ben(: haha.. and he gave me two satay.. awww.. so sweet right.. lols(: haha.. yeap.. then i started to drizzle.. so we went into the shade.. some void deck.. yeap yeap.. eat and sang xiao xuan her birthday song.. cut cake then left le.. ahaha.. and i got a ride in a BMW.. lols fee xiong's car.. haha.. and jimmy kept making fun of me! IDIOT! lols.. yeap.. and i got home safely(: hees..

yeap yeap.. and here i am today.. tink my mum's in a bad mood.. then she keep shouting.. sian.. and i'm not in a good mood either.. well.. some things have happened.. some things are happening.. i'm quite drained actually.. some small probs seemed to be amplified.. which is causing some irritation in me.. some.. i dunno.. i'm just quite irritated now.. why is human relationship such a complex issue? sigh.. things go wrong once in a while.. some get better.. some don't.. some people realli care.. some just can't be bothered.. some people say that.. some people just dunno how to express they care.. but.. if they just put in some effort to.. and give up some ego.. i dun tink it's that difficult.. i'm talking about myself here too.. yea.. well.. i just hope things get better..

yeah.. changed my blog password.. started with godlovesme.. then love.. and joy.. these things.. i've found in my life.. i noe my God loves me.. and i've managed to find joy in doing His work.. right now.. i'm hoping for peace.. i need that peace.. to clear that turmoil in me.. God bless u..

I needed Jesus @ | 12:15:00 AM

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

*.* i am in the BGC!(: *.*

ok let's talk about Christmas day first(: woke up late.. haha.. then went to catch Charlotte's Web with my aunt, cousin and siblings.. and my aunt's fren and daughter too.. went to marina.. and my aunt.. she best.. she doesnt' noe the way to marina square.. and she asked me.. wah lao.. i dun drive.. and i can't differentiate the different expressways can! in the end she went by ECP and i tink that was the longer route.. lols yes but we got there aniwae.. and the movie already started.. but i dun tink we missed much..

yeap yeap.. after that had lunch at the foodcourt.. yeap.. then walked around.. gor gor was at marina square too.. so i went down to find him after my aunt and the rest left.. yeap.. he was down.. yea.. gor gor.. hope u felt better! (: hope ym company din make things worse.. (: yeah.. we walked around.. and went to esplanade to chill.. jsut sat by the "river" and stone.. talk.. listen to the band SOUND TEST.. aiyoyo super slow.. haha.. aniwae.. yeah.. went to rafflescity.. bought food.. yeah.. hehe.. then din feel like going home yet.. so i took the train to tamp with gor gor.. then took 72 and walked a longer way home.. then came home at bout 10+.. yeap yeap..

played monopoly online with gor gor! (: haha.. 2-2.. lols.. quite funny.. haha.. then played with mr JIMMY! hahaha.. I WON!! WOOHOO! (: hahaha.. yeash.. but slept quite late.. rarrr... ): haha.. but i had a fun Christmas(: realli enjoyed myself.. (: gor gor i hope u're feeling better too ba..

woots! haha.. had loads of fun today with my dear twinnie(: haha.. and a bunch of other pple too! (: lols.. aniwae.. today.. din wana wake up!! rarr!! the weather was SOOOOO good for sleeping in can.. rarr.. but i had to cos twinnie's coming to my place to job hunt.. lols.. we went online.. send our resume to THOUSAND positions.. lols until we dunno which is which.. haha.. yar.. so we send and call and play and rot.. lols.. and played some stupid boardgames at my place.. ahahaha.. i had fun.. hope my twinnie had fun too! (: yeap yeap..

OH before i go on about other stuff.. me and twinnie had late lunch at the coffeeshop near my place.. then i told the auntie.. that i wanted the hor fun for TWO person.. and she should noe that two ladies dun realli eat ALOT.. and she told me 5 bucks one.. i dunno wats the serving like.. then the plate came.. me and twinnie were like.. DIE.. sure cannot finish.. it's like 4 persons serving lar! XIAO! then in the end.. we dao bao about 1/4 back.. and we were SUPER full.. sian.. haha..

yeah.. so we slack at my place till bout 9 and then we headed for thomson.. (: went for SUPPER! (: haha we were the first to reach.. then ethel.. followed by niu jin and jason chia.. haha then we started to GOSSIP! oh no~! haah i shan't reveal the contents here.. lols.. and andrew the KING of gossip came.. lols.. and yes.. he used a very STRONG word that starts with an S.. **** lols.. we were utterly SHOCKED.. haha.. yes..

we ate.. chatted.. and played zhong ji mi ma.. ahhaha.. rubbish lar.. lols.. and was there till bout 1130.. then our transport manager sent 4 of us home.. haha.. oh.. mentioning my transport manager! (: presenting to u mr JASON CHIA.. lol.. yes.. he's TM of the BGC.. lols.. dun ask me wats BGC.. go find out urself.. lols.. and the next in the list.. our treasurer.. NIU JIN! haha.. and then we have the SPOKESPERSON sweedy! (: SECRETARY ethel! VICE CHAIRPERSON debra and CHAIRPERSON andew! lols.. (: this club is onli open to those living in the north and north east area! (: haha who will come for supper in this area every second last friday of the month! (: hahaha.. so if u wana be part of the club.. feel free to approach anione of us! (: lols..

yeah.. had loads of fun today.. and i got high on teh tarik.. lols.. mayb it was yesterday's chocolates.. haha.. for ur info.. i was EATING like my stomach was a 无底洞 yesterday.. lols.. and i poped chocolates like nobody's business.. hahaha.. i realli ATE alot! my gor gor can testify.. lols.. yeah.. so i gotta eat less! i'm FAT! oh no! hahaha..

tink i'm tired le.. shall end here.. bye! (:

I needed Jesus @ | 12:27:00 AM

Monday, December 25, 2006

*.* MERRY CHRISTMAS! (:(:(: *.*

it's Christmas time! (: oh man! i tink.. this is the happiest Christmas i've been through(: hmmm.. well let's see.. saturday.. went to church for Christmas party(: haha.. had fun(: yeap.. and service was fine too(: the performance was good! (: the meh meh very cute(:(: hahaha... yeap.. went home after church... and settled the christmas cards.. took so long to make them.. and i almost ran out of glue.. was shaking the bottle with so much strength.. my arms are aching today.. tsk! haha.. hope they like the card.. it's quite ugly i tot.. haha..

slept at 3+ last morning.. wah.. and woke up at 630.. my orange shirt wasn't dry.. so i ironed it as dry as possible.. and headed for church.. yeap.. had a few rehearsals.. and finally.. the performance at 11(: haha it went quite well ba.. (: haha.. yeap.. and the service.. almost the same as yesterday's.. yeah.. but today.. i had the kids around me.. first was jean wei.. she sat on my leg throughout service(: then nearer e end.. i asked xiaoxuan to come over..(: yeah.. and when we were singing "we wish you a merry christmas" the youths ran into the sanctuary(: haha.. so fun! (: yeap..

after service.. went around to give out the cards then headed for city hall with some youths.. had lunch at raffles city foodcourt.. (then makes u wonder why we go all the way to city hall for e foodcourt..) haha.. yeah.. had loads of fun today! (: but kinda tired.. haha.. yeap.. went to my grandma's place after that.. and i slept like a log.. i was sitting on the sofa when i slept.. haha.. yea.. piggy.. lols.. aniwae.. here's some pics.. enjoy(:

Christmas is all about love.. (: Jesus came to die for us.. to save us.. because.. God loves us.. (: thank you for this wonderful present Lord.. it's the best present i can ever have(: I LOVE YOU JESUS! (:

that's the charis youth and charis kidz in action! (:

performance is OVER! success! (:
three musketeers! (:

say CHEESE! (:

baby chloe and gor gor elvin

jimmy and girlfriend.. LOL

sweedy and jimmy):):

jimmy insists that he got to 左拥右抱.. haha..

sweedy and debra! (:

sweedy ethel joan! (:

gor gor elvin and me!(:

UGLY TIMES!!

At the Foodcourt!
TWINNIE!! (:

friends forever! (:

debra sweedy ethel! pretty women! (:

act cute!! eewwww..

U’re supposed to act fierce twinnie! FAILED!

i din force her! hahaha(: i love my twinnie! (:

ethel loves me! (: wahaha..

niu jin and me~ (:
sweedy and pei qi~! (:

sweedy and bryan(:

sweedy and sin wei

desmond!!!

sweedy and jayson!
that's our DANCE instructor mr YU XIAN! (: lols..

chang yuan was spying on us! haha we were leaving raffles city..

ethel debra niujin! pretty girls!

On the train! (:

tricia! (: xavier's little sister(:

I love my twinnie(:

this baby that i met outside raffles city foodcourt.. he came out SMILING!! then i waved to him and he smiled and smiled and gave me a flying kiss! (: then the family was walking away.. then they came back.. then the mummy was saying "u like this jie jie alot huh! smile so much when u see her! " i turned around.. then saw the baby smiling again! (: SO CUTE! so i took a pic with him! but i forgot his name):

I needed Jesus @ | 2:26:00 AM